75 Reasons she dumped you
Welcome to the most comprehensive list of reasons of why women dump men!
The first part of the list focuses more on the dating phase, while the second - on relationships.
As you read through those reasons, I want you to keep in mind one very important thing: the needier a woman is, the more she will tolerate, and therefore, the more of those reasons will have to be present for her to break it off. Women of value and standards, on the other hand, won’t put up with crap as much, and therefore will have no issues with excusing themselves from an unhappy relationship.
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1. You were too aggressive and inconsiderate (aka acting like a bull in a china store). Acting too aggressive makes you look like you have zero sense of what the other party feels OR wants. Some women are too delicate to withstand such aggressiveness.
2. You let her take the lead. You know what? Women HATE to be the man in a dating relationship. If she is the one who initiates calling, plans your dates, and overall takes care of everything, do not be surprised if one day she decides she has had enough. She wants to feel like she is WITH a man, not a man herself. Playing the role of a man makes her lose interest in the man she is with.
3. There was no true attraction in the first place. As you kept moving things forward she decided to jump the boat. You DO NOT want to be with a woman who is NOT attracted to you.
4. She discovered you have... a girlfriend. Who wants to be the ‘the second’? Would you like to be her ‘second best’? If not, then why are you putting her in such an undesirable position?
5. She did a sneaky background search on you (Facebook, etc.) and discovered something disturbing. Do you have a reputation of a player? Do you have a rocky history with women? Once she sees you for who you are, she may very well decide to bolt. It is so EASY to leave a 'full of a filthy past' stranger after just a couples of dates. I suggest you conduct an online search on yourself and see what comes up. Clean up your online mess as much as you can because I can give you a 100% guarantee that the first thing women do after obtaining your name is go online and start looking.
6. Every woman has her own (sometimes quite quirky) unique expectations as to how a man is ‘supposed to behave’ in the very beginning. If you fail to behave in a certain manner she will discard you as a ‘wrong’ candidate. I know it does not make sense and sounds unfair. To make matters worse - most females won’t even tell you what their ‘expectations’ are. Do you know why? Because they expect you TO KNOW.
7. You are below her league. Women are attracted to males of an equal or a higher league (status). There are exceptions of course, but overall women prefer to date men with similar (to their own) educational and social backgrounds.
8. You were rude, disrespectful, or kept spilling offensive and stupid jokes. Women with high levels of self-respect have zero tolerance for rude people. Your not being nice in the very beginning was seen as an indicator of the kind of a person you are. ‘If he is this verbally abusive already, then what will he be like when we enter a relationship? Do I even want to find out?'
9. Are you one of those who have a habit of chasing after a woman no matter what? If you chase after a woman who does not respond in kind, then the only result you will get is rejection. She did not reject you, you were never an item in the first place.
10. You are terribly insecure and it shows… ‘May I kiss you please?’ – are the dreaded words that EVERY woman hates. Look, she has already agreed to go out with you, how much more proof do you need that she likes you?? Acting insecure and constantly seeking reassurance is a sure way to kill her attraction.
11. She dumped you because her circle of close friends and family did not like you. This is the kind of loss you should not be crying about. She is definitely immature and cannot think for herself.
12. She found out you were talking /dating/seeing other people. You may think it is too early to be exclusive BUT if sleeping with her after 3-5 dates is NOT TOO early in YOUR BOOK, then becoming exclusive is what will be expected of you in HER BOOK. Unless mutually agreed, in the majority of cases your sleeping with a woman and seeing other people at the same time will not sit very well with her. For most (if not all ) women Sleeping Together = Exclusivity.
13. Were you smothering her? Were you calling and texting her non- stop? If she does not respond as eagerly or as often as you would like, then the only option you have left here is to slow down. Give her room to THINK and RESPOND. Give her space! I understand you are eager but in order to make things right you need to give her room to breathe. No one wants to be suffocated, and if you keep pushing she will feel like she has no options but to leave. (You may like this e-Course Text Your Ex Back (how to get your ex back!))
14. You failed to listen. In the very beginning, when you barely know a woman, one of the best things that you could possibly benefit from is your ability to listen to what she says. If she is vocal about things she does not like, you'd better take note of it and correct your behavior (if possible). If you IGNORE her early complaints, then the next thing that is going to happen is her getting fed up with your ways and leaving.
15. In relation to the above: some women prefer to keep it all to themselves meaning that instead of telling what is wrong (and giving you a chance to improve) they will just leave. So, if she complains, consider it a good sign. She wants to make things work!
16. Your financial situation sucks. Women are drawn to men who can provide. It is biological. Not being able to provide lowers your status AS A MAN in a female’s eyes. You may not like hearing that, but this is how females are wired. The more of a provider and the more successful you are, the more chances (and choices) you have. In case you would like to improve your financial situation or start making more than you are currently making, you may like learning about how to make money online. If interested please click here.
17. You came across as creepy. Acting creepy means making a woman extremely uncomfortable or scared. If you have unusual sexual fantasies or strange habits, INSIST on her doing something she is not comfortable doing, she will drop you like a hot rock.
18. You played games aimed at ‘making her chase you’. ARE YOU SERIOUS? If she has a bunch of guys chasing after HER, then why would she chase after YOU? If she is a woman of value she will go along with those who demonstrate active interest in her. If you think that playing games is the only way to make a woman interested, then you NEED my book. Building attraction without stupid games IS possible.
19. You were waiting for her... to contact you. In your mind, if a woman does not call it means she is not interested. Here is the truth: in the very beginning of a dating relationship old-fashioned and traditional women prefer to be contacted. If you just met and she is not calling it does not mean she is not interested, it means she is waiting for you to call. If you do not call she will decide you are not interested and will simply move on.
20. You had very poor availability. Women hate it when all that you can do is ‘meet once a week’. Your ‘once a week’ will become old pretty quickly. If your poor availability is all she has been complaining about, then do not be surprised if she gets you replaced with someone else. Why bother to beg for your time if she can get it all EASILY from another man?
21. Excessive jealousy. Were you drilling her on her past and blaming her for all the romances she had before you? Were you interrogating her ‘to ensure’ no one else was in the picture? Were you giving her a hard time about her previous sexual partners? If so, dating you was a nightmare; the kind of a nightmare one would have never wished upon their worst enemy. She is happily gone now, and you need to work on your issue.
22. Religious differences. For some people these differences do not matter but for others – they are deal-breakers. Better to clarify on these things in the beginning because this is something that cannot be (and will not be) ‘compromised’ on in the future.
23. You were a lousy dater or just do not understand what makes women tick. If you think that watching a boxing match is a good date idea then you, my friend, have a lot to learn.
24. Maturity levels mis-match. Have you ever met a woman who you wanted to connect with on a deeper level but could not? Perhaps she was inexperienced in life, was naïve, or her perception on major issues was different… whatever it was, you just could not see a future with such a woman. Well, it goes both ways. If a woman discovers that you are too immature for her taste, she will leave.
25. You were not the only one she was talking to /dating. As things kept moving forwards she felt like she needed to make a choice. Since she broke up with you it means that she chose the other guy. Sorry.
26. She felt the initial spark but over the course of several dates it fizzled. I bet you can relate to this kind of experience as well. She lost interest and decided to not pursue the relationship further.
27. Imagine the following scenario: every woman you talk to online or meet in person keeps asking you the same question –“So, how much $$$ do you have in your bank account?” or “What kind of car do you drive?”. Would such types of questions and/or comments make you feel like it is all about your MONEY and not about YOU? Well, this is what many women are going through with many clueless men. The only difference is in the types of comments/questions. Care to take a guess what they are all about? I’ll spare your time and spill the beans – they are all about sex. If you bring up the subject of sex too early she will immediately feel like it is all about SEX and not about HER. She will feel like she is just a ‘sex object' and nothing more. If you were too pushy with your sexual talks and kept suggesting ‘things’ before she was ready, then you know now why she is gone.
28. This one is going to be interesting. I know a woman who was weeding out men depending on what shoes they were wearing and the condition of their hands. In her opinion good, stylish, expensive looking shoes in conjunction with good hands and clean nails were indicators of his ‘class’ and ‘pedigree’. I know another woman who was weeding out men based on their title – she dated only those who worked in Senior Management and up. So, basically what we are seeing here is that some women tend to have certain requirements, and if you do not fit them you are out of luck. Not fair, I know. But I think it would still be useful to know how the selection process works for some women.
29. You failed to treat her Special on Valentine’s Day, her Birthday, or any other major holiday. Some women are watching for these things like a hawk. In her opinion, your forgetting about Valentine’s Day means that she is not THAT special to you. Would you like to date a woman who does not think you are THAT special (to her)?
30. She went back together with her ex. You were just a ‘passing candidate’ in her 'breaking up- making up' cycle with her exboyfriend.
31. Although women do not mind spontaneity, constantly scheduling dates at the very last minute or being late is something that will become annoying to her pretty quickly. Every woman believes that advanced planning is an indicator of a serious interest. Your calling in the very last minute will make her believe that you are not that serious. Women prefer ‘serious and meaningful’ over ‘casual’.
32. Did she catch you lying about something significant? Lying is never good, but it is especially damaging during the early stages of dating. Think about it, because of your lies she will have troubles believing in everything else you say after that. Loss of trust is a major deal breaker for everyone, not just for women.
33. Did you treat her differently when among your friends? Did you always act casual or like you were not an item? It really hurts when someone does something like this. Were you afraid (or embarrassed) to show off to the world she was your woman? What’s up with such an immature and hurtful behavior? She is gone now because she does not want to deal with an idiot.
34. You are cheap or a coupons clipper. Dating means spending money. There is absolutely no way around it! Those men who resent ‘paying for everything’ may want to know that it is expensive for a woman to look beautiful. Do you like dolled up women? Would you like her to make an effort to look beautiful FOR YOU? If so, do you know how much it costs to buy 1) foundation 2) eye liner 3) eye shadows 4) face powder 5) bronzer +blush 6) mascara 7) a lipstick that does not leave marks on your clothes 8) to get nails done 9) shaving cream 10) necklace, bracelets, purses, and other accessories 11) great looking shoes 12) an outfit that fits her figure 13) lingerie 14) hair styling products… and the list just goes on and on. So, when you invite her on a date to have drinks in a cheap restaurant, the last thing you want to do is to ask her to split the $10 bill! It just makes you look like a sore loser, sorry.
35. One major reason women want a ‘temporary break’ from a relationship (aka from you) is the need for space. You need to give her space to come to you. You need to give her a gift of missing you. Crowding her space excessively (are you too needy?) will result in loss of attraction and the ‘temporary break’ may very well turn into a ‘permanent’ one.
36. She met someone else who she felt stronger attraction for. Simply accept the loss and move on. You would not want her to continue dating you AND hooking up with that other guy at the same time, would you? Breaking up in this case was the right thing to do on her part.
37. Are you too self-absorbed? Is it always about ‘you-you-you’ and never about ‘how HER day was’? If so, she felt lonely and rejected. Not showing interest in a woman’s life, and not listening to what she wants to share is a sure way to make her lose enthusiasm .
38. You fell in love fast and hard and rushed all your strong feelings onto her. She got freaked out and left. Too much too soon of everything is never good.
39. You were a lousy lover. This one depends on her preferences. I have personally known a woman who was screening men on this single, very important (for her) criteria. Of course, every woman is different, but being illiterate about a female’s body will ALWAYS be taken against you.
40. You have an overall mean attitude towards women. You think of them as an enemy, gold-diggers or as ‘lesser people’. You are always in this defensive mode worrying she might take away something from you. Believe me, women sense such things…
41. You were an insipid bore. Just like a tasteless soup or a salad dressing that is lacking in zest, you were boring as heck. Do you EVER get excited about anything? Can you maintain a meaningful conversation without using one syllable words like ‘yes’, ‘no’, or ‘hmmm’? Maybe you are a great guy but hiding in your own shell won’t help women to see it.
42. Talking about your ex. This is what women do not get and will ALWAYS have an issue with: if you are with her, then why are you thinking AND talking about some other woman?? Aren’t you supposed to be in awe of your current woman? Aren’t you supposed to enjoy the ‘here and now’? Why are you talking about the past? It makes it look like you are missing your past and should the opportunity present itself, you would jump in it with both feet. Would you like your current woman to start talking about HER ex? How would it make YOU feel?
43. You allowed her to treat you badly. If you allow a woman to behave badly and walk all over you, she will eventually lose respect for you as a person. And where there is No Respect – there is No Attraction.
44. Poor hygiene. Hey, no one wants to date (and sleep with) a stinky skunk! No matter how amazing you are, your poor hygiene is something she just won’t be able to overcome. Taking a shower every day, brushing /flossing your teeth regularly, using deodorant, and wearing clean fresh clothes should really help.
45. You were a jerk. Did you flirt with other women in front of your woman? Did you criticize her excessively? Did you think her needs did not matter? Were you avoiding her when she felt bad or upset? Were you trying to constantly overstep her boundaries? She left because she felt like she was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Can you blame her?
46. You suffer from some sort of mental disorder. Whether it is anxiety, OCD, or depression – not having it under control will eventually take a toll on your relationship. Do not expect every woman to be ‘understanding’ of your emotional ups and downs and do not expect her to enjoy emotional roller coaster rides with you either. It is very hard on the receiving end and it is not for everyone.
47. Are you a greedy person? If you have never given her any present /gift or insisted on her paying her share EVERY TIME you go out then do not be surprised if she disappears on you. And it is not about the $$$. It is about making her feel like she is ‘your’ woman. The above described behavior is appropriate for friends but is wrong for romantic couples. Women perceive presents and treating them to nice places as a ‘mating ritual’.
48. Some major change in her life made her re-assess her dating relationship with you. Did she move to another city to continue her studies? Did she relocate to advance her career? If this is the case then you may want to understand her desire to STOP dating people in her former area. Long distance relationships are not for everyone.
49. She did not feel comfortable sharing the whole truth about herself. Through the course of dates and multiple conversations she realized that you would not like what she had to reveal. She took off to find someone who would accept her without judgment, and who she could reveal her true self with without worrying about the consequences.
50. You shared too much of yourself in a very short period of time. It is like eating pounds and pounds of your favorite meal for days. How long would it take for you to eat it before you get entirely sick of it? It is a proven fact that taking it slow is the right strategy to follow to build a woman’s attraction. Doing the opposite will get you the opposite results.
51. You work too much. If your career consumes most of your physical and mental resources then there will be nothing left of you to give to your woman. Why do you think she should enjoy such a ‘relationship’? If all you can give is 10%, then do not be surprised if one day she disappears from your busy radar. She just wants to be IN A RELATIONSHIP, you know…
52. You spend a lot of your free time with your friends. It is not like you have to ditch your friends once you have a girlfriend, but if your friends constantly take priority over her, then there will be a day when she decides that her personal happiness has a higher priority over the misery you give her every time she is left alone while you are having fun with your friends.
53. You have been going steady for months but you never introduced her to your close friends and family. Are you hiding her? Are you hiding the fact that you are in a relationship (aka letting other females think you are available)? She wants to be your official girlfriend and she expects you to let the whole world know about it! If you fail to do this, then she will think you are not valuing her and the relationship enough to make such an announcement. She will feel used, hurt, and unimportant. Would you like to be with someone who makes YOU feel like this?? Now you know why she left.
54. This one is a major one: you failed to take the relationship to the next level. If she had expectations and you failed to deliver, then leaving you was the only option she thought she had. Many women do not ‘just date’. They expect for things to move forward. Were you afraid to offer to move in together? Did you fail to propose? Women rarely stay in dead-end relationships.
55. You became lazy and adopted this ‘she is not going anywhere’ attitude. You stopped being romantic and doing all the right things you were doing (in the beginning) to build attraction. If you stopped doing all the right things to keep her attraction going, then what do you think will happen to her attraction?? This is true, relationships and women require maintenance. Do not get overwhelmed with the idea though. To make it easier for men, I dedicated to this one single subject an entire book! Keeping a woman’s interest is not as hard as you might think. THE TRICK is to understand how women think, feel, and what makes them happy plus what you, as a man, can do to make it happen. Learn how things work with females.
56. You are a mamma’s boy. Look, your woman knows she can’t compete with your mom; but rubbing it in her face on a regular basis might one day get her pissed off enough to call it quits. Of course your mom knows better – she is more experienced in life (unlike your less experienced girlfriend) and she is wiser (unlike your less mature woman). If you cannot live or make decisions without consulting with your mom first, if your mom always goes first and has a higher priority over your girlfriend, then you, my friend, should not be in a relationship.
57. Were you a control freak? Telling her what to buy, how to clean the house, who to socialize with, how to manage her own money or how to cook will eventually blow up in your face. You have to accept that she is a different individual. If you have troubles adjusting to her ‘ways’ of doing things and/or insist on doing them the ‘right way’ (aka YOUR way), then you both will eventually end up being miserable.
58. You came into the relationship with a wrong mindset (‘unprocessed baggage’). Perhaps you were healing from a breakup and could not wait to forget your cheating ex, perhaps you were rejected a lot and felt lonely and needy… whatever the reason was, if you did not take your time to heal and reflect, then your new relationship could have been strongly affected by these unprocessed feelings. Perhaps you became excessively needy, unreasonably critical, or unjustifiably paranoid. It is almost like you were making your new woman ‘pay’ for what other women did to you.
59. You can’t handle difficult situations well. Women are attracted to men who make them feel safe. If during critical times you fall apart, then she won’t see you as someone she can rely on during a crisis. Females perceive such men as ‘weak’, and on a biological level, it is very hard for a female to feel attraction towards a ‘weak’ male.
60. She stopped feeling happy about her role (status) in the relationship but you did nothing to change it. For example: you were in a FWB (friends with benefits) situation and she wanted to upgrade it to a boyfriend – girlfriend relationship; you were in LDR (long distance relationship) and she wanted to close the distance gap; she was your ‘other woman’ who wanted to take the place of the ‘main’ one. She stopped feeling happy in her role and wanted it to change. Since you did not go along with her ideas she saw no point in staying.
61. Are you a needy person? Were you calling and messaging her multiple times per day? Were you keeping tabs on her? Were you begging her to stay every time she needed to leave? Was the relationship with your woman everything you were thinking about? Was she begging you to give her space?? You see, you cannot just suffocate and pester someone like this. Every human being has his/her own need for Personal Space. You have to learn to respect it.
62. She stopped feeling happy with you. Perhaps you were fighting a lot, or perhaps you had several annoying habits. If, in her opinion, being WITHOUT YOU felt better than being WITH YOU, then you have your answer.
63. You have developed some sort of addiction. That substance replaced your woman and became your ‘The One’. If you are addicted to something it makes you very bad relationship material, and each woman knows it.
64. You were together for a while but every time you met your friends or your family members you introduced her as your friend. What’s up with that? Didn’t she deserve the status of a Girlfriend after all this time? Is this what you think she was for you – just a friend? Did she even agree to be ‘just friends’ with you? I do not believe she did, that is why she is gone.
65. Were you in contact with your ex while dating the woman who just left you? If you and your ex had no children or were not tied by some sort of property, AND if your talking to your ex was upsetting the woman you dated, then I see no justifiable reasons for doing what you were doing. Talking to your ex when dating someone else will eventually result in having what you deserve – yet another ex. No woman is going to tolerate something like this.
66. You let yourself go - gained a lot of weight, stopped going to gym, became a sloppy dresser, and your grooming habits have deteriorated. Do you look like a scare-crow now? Letting yourself go is a huge attraction killer!
67. You were giving her mixed signals. Blowing hot and cold may make her chase you, but it is not sustainable long term. The older the woman is (let’s say close to 30 and over) the less tolerance she will have for such an unbalanced, immature, bi-polar like behavior. It is difficult to feel happy with someone who showers you with attention one day but ignores you the other. She did not sign up for the see-saw… see-saw… game, did she??
68. Did she break up with you in a past? Do you remember what the reason was? Usually it is some sort of thing that made her upset enough to leave. Getting back together meant putting an effort into eliminating that issue so the relationship would work. Was the issue still present? If so, do not be surprised if she got pissed over this exact issue once AGAIN and decided to leave.
69. Many women get themselves involved with wrong men hoping they will change. It is called ‘betting on potential’. She thinks that whatever she is unhappy about you RIGHT NOW will change/improve/will be gone LATER. Unfortunately, if it never happens and the ‘LATER’ phase never comes, she may become disappointed enough to leave. Did she have unrealistic expectations about you? Did she want you to change? Was she betting on your potential? Did you have a sense she was in love with ‘what it would be like’ instead of ‘what it is right now’?
70. You stopped communicating. You did not want to listen to what bothered her and what her worries were about. You were dismissing her feelings and complaints. You stopped being that attentive, loving, and considerate listener she fell in love with. Read more about it here.
71. You cheated on her. Do you REALLY need an explanation here as to WHY she dumped you?
72. You do not have goals or not ambitious enough. If you are financially insecure she will not feel ‘safe’ with you. Her biological instinct will be to go away from such a man. Just like in the case above, would you like to learn how to make money online? Some people get successful enough to quit their day job! If interested, please click here.
73. You were treating her as a VIP (aka kissing up to her). No woman wants to be put on a pedestal. Being on a pedestal is a lonely existence. By putting her there you made her believe that you were beneath her. You also made her believe that you were unable to see her for the true, flawed human being that she was. Why would you do something like this? Of course she lost interest (and respect) for you. She wanted equality!
74. Does she have small children? If so, did you school or order them around? What made you believe that you had the right to do it? Children are a sensitive issue for many women. If she was AGAINST your ways with her children, AND you had a lot of arguments about it, then leaving you was the best option she saw to stop the aggravation.
75. She stopped feeling loved (by you). This sort of situation is like a time bomb: it will be just a matter of time until a ‘more loving’ and ‘more attentive’ male shows up on the horizon and snatches her away from you. Is this what you think happened?
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