How not to become a victim of a gold digger
This is going to be an uncomfortable subject to talk about because it feels like I am betraying the entire female population. I would still like to write about it nevertheless to clarify on some misconceptions.
So basically if you are a wealthy and successful man looking for ‘The One’ all you want is to find a woman who loves you for who you are and not for your money. Fair enough.
Let’s us deviate from you for a moment and take a look at how your wealth is being perceived by females.
Females are attracted to providers and it is biological. It is in every females’ genes to seek for a secure shelter. With this being said, you cannot really be mad at women being attracted to you for this reason. It will never change and it will always be like this.
Another thing is that females are aware of the ‘gold digger’ term, and since not all of us are gold diggers, it makes it very difficult for us to stay ‘sane’ and ‘happy’ in a relationship with a wealthy paranoid man who constantly thinks that she is in it for money only.
I mean, what exactly a woman of a wealthy partner should do or say to prove that her feelings are genuine? I am not even talking about the rest of society: every time a wealthy man gets himself a partner, everyone immediately ASSUMES that she is a gold digger. They point fingers at her with disgust, call her names, and shame her right and left. It is not fair and it is not always the truth! See how difficult it is for such women?
Now comes the uncomfortable part. You will learn how not to become a victim of a gold digger.
Gold diggers are not about YOU, they are all about what they can get from you. Duhh, you knew that, right?
You may still become a victim of this shady behavior if you fall in love with a woman who ‘sort of’ responds in kind, but not enough to call it ‘reciprocated’.
Just like many women think that sex may lead to love,
many men believe that
presents and money can make a woman love them.
Blinded by love, they go overboard with expenses to ‘make her’ love them. Meanwhile she is just milking the situation and thinks nothing of it. I was a witness of these vicious cycles more than once and the sad part is that they usually last for years.
As a test – remove all the extra monetary benefits and see if she is still there. That’s when you will know your answer.
Overall, if you do not want to be a victim of a gold digger refrain from excessive showing off, providing, spending, and giving during your dating stage. Do the very minimum and let her know that the rest of the assets are off limits.
A true gold digger WILL NOT STAY. There will be nothing for her to take (I know girls like that). It is the genuinely interested woman who loves you for YOU who will stay by your side no matter what. That’s when you know.
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Do not go overboard on your
first zero date
If you do not want to feel used and if you are not comfortable asking a woman to split expenses on your first date (and I do not actually recommend it), then the best thing that you can do for her and yourself is to have a short drinks date instead of a formal dinner.
It is surprising how many men still think it is OK to have a first dinner date. I mean, if you can afford and are willing to spend your hard earned money on someone you may NEVER see again then be my guest. All I can tell you is that fancy dinners are nice, but they are not a guarantee of anything.
Men who suggest to have a first dinner date probably do not understand how things work.
Your fist date is actually not your first date.
It is your date ZERO.
This is your opportunity to meet a person and get to know them a little bit better. During this time you may also assess whether there is a spark and whether you want to see them again. The same goes for women. This is a zero obligation meet up and should be treated as such.
After date ZERO: do not get furious if she decides that there is ‘no connection’, do not ask her to pay her share back (that is why your first date should be just a 30 min drink date), do not bug her with multiple text messages, emails or calls asking ‘to schedule something up’. She is not stupid and she knows how she feels.
If there is interest on her part she will respond to your suggestion to meet. If there is no interest, then she will either ignore your multiple attempts to contact her (more common) or send a ‘I am not interested’ message (less common).
Having it too formal on your date ZERO puts you in a very difficult spot: since this is your first outing you cannot really ask her to pay her share without looking like a jerk which means all the expenses will be on you.
If it is not enough, just like I’ve mentioned previously, there is no guarantee she will want to see you again. Imagine shelling out over $100 on a dinner and then never hearing from her. Think how bad it would feel.
Many guys report they feel used when it happens.
Ahem, were you the one who suggested a dinner date? If yes, then
you have no one to blame but yourself.
Although it is hard to refuse an offer to dine in a nice place, expensive formal dates make many women uncomfortable and ‘obligated’.
Dating is hard, but it should not drain your bank account. I suggest keeping it casual and informal until something mutual develops. Then and only then you can treat her to a nice dinner or start spending knowing that 1) she likes you already 2) she won’t disappear on you 3) you will be appreciated for your gestures 4) she will feel special which will lead to liking you more.
Keeping it cheap and casual gives you an opportunity to meet many women without breaking your bank account.
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