How to make him marry you
If things have been stale for a while or if you have been dating for too long, it means that there is something in your behavior that needs to be changed to make him marry you.
What you have been doing so far is obviously not working. To better understand why, you need to take a look at gender differences. You will be amazed how things are different with men!
To answer your question if you could make him marry you - under the right conditions the answer is a solid 'Yes'.
First of all, answer this: why is he in a relationship with you? Do not automatically assume that he is in a relationship with you for the exact same reasons that you are. Here is where the mentioned above ‘gender differences’ come into play. Women get into relationships because of romantic reasons, and many guys - for companionship, convenience, and easy access to sex.
I know it sounds weird, but this is how some men are.
Now, once we know this info, let’s take a look at your current relationship. We need to make sure that he is with you NOT because of these reasons i.e. convenience, boredom, and easy access to sex. Observe his behavior. Men who are in a relationship for convenience won’t prioritize it over other things.
Do you feel like you are his priority? Does he move his schedule around you or squeezes you into it? Does he make plans with you by ditching other plans or ditches you over those plans? Do you have the sense that he puts you ‘second’ after everything else? Is he a one big walking excuse? Does he ask ‘to get to know you’ questions? Maybe he has little to no friends and you are the only person who patiently listens to him talk for hours?
Some relationships are not that easy to figure out, but others - are clearly written on the wall. Think of friends with benefits relationships or a situation where you are ‘the other’ woman, for example. These are bright examples of ‘convenience and easy sex’ relationships.
If a man is in a relationship for the sake of convenience, then in his mind, the woman does not mean that much to him, or in other words – she is easily replaceable.
We, as females, are naturally attracted to security. The more secure we feel in a relationship with a man, the more we get attached and the more we want to commit. In contrary, men are not wired biologically to be ‘attracted’ to security. Sounds cliché, but men are wired to hunt and to aggressively go after what they want. Hunting stimulates their senses and promotes action. See the difference here?
So, if you have been super loving, accommodating, and giving off the sense of ‘security’ all this time you know now why he is so passive and lame. There is nothing for him to go after! It is a done deal!
Many women believe that if they behave super-loving, super – accommodating, and super-committed it will attach their boyfriend to them more. We do this because it works with us – the females. Again, males are a different species and ‘super-loving’ and ‘super-committed’ will do nothing, but relax them.
When men have security in a relationship they relax. They stop being on their toes, their passion diminishes, and they become less committed. That’s usually the time when they start taking us for granted, too.
Many of us, just for the sake of saving a sinking boat, resort to giving more. It is unfortunately, a losing battle. As we give more and more to make them commit, we receive less and less. Men are not fond of women who give too much. Giving too much invites disrespect and mistreatment. It is very difficult for a man to love a woman he has little to no respect for.
Men and women feel differently. When we make them feel loved it does not make them want to commit. When men feel loved, they shift their focus onto something else. They dive into hobbies, spend more time with friends, or take on a second job to keep themselves ‘busy’. They feel no need to work on the relationship. Or, to change something.
Here is what you need to do to make him marry you:
You need to change your relationship from ‘secure’ to ‘insecure’ and make him chase you again. On top of that, he needs to have a sense that if he does not take drastic actions to keep you around, he will lose you forever.
The final destination here – which is marriage – should become a part of the chase.
Independent and secure women get guys to marry them for this exact same reason. These women get the best guys to propose because they:
~ stick to their boundaries
~ are willing to walk away from a relationship
~ are loving, but not super-giving and accommodating
~ bring out the best in their man because they won’t accept less
~ have no problem saying ‘No’
You need to work on earning his respect back and make him feel like there is a danger of losing you. THAT’S when his male instincts kick in and prompt him to take action: “Uh –oh, I better to do something before it’s too late” .
Men marry a woman when they feel like there is going to be an added value to their life. They do not marry because we love them too much, care too much, please all the time etc. Their choice to marry is based on their own perceptions and feelings.
If they have feelings for you (I bet they do!) and if they ‘get something’ from this relationship, then the danger of losing that ‘something’ should prompt them to take drastic action. Yes, it looks rather ridiculous and selfish on their end, but this is how things work.
I was a witness of 2 real life examples of this happening. The things were rather extreme though. Both women were breaking up with their boyfriends who needed ‘more time’ to commit. In both instances proposals were made, but only one woman took it. The other one was ‘too burned out’ (her exact words).
I am sure you have probably heard similar stories too, where a man suddenly proposes to a girlfriend who is about to break up.
I would not recommend such drastic measures though. I would take my time to turn around the relationship to earn his respect back and inflict a sense of insecurity. No worries, once it happens, he will know what to do to lock you in for himself forever (wink wink).
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