Should you wait for someone you love to love you back?
Should you wait for someone to love you back even though they do not love you or are ‘not sure’ now? OK, let us rephrase it a little bit: should you EXPECT for someone to love you back eventually even though they do not love you or are ‘not sure’ now?
Is it what you think while waiting for them to love you back ‘someday’?
When we wait for someone to love us back we may fall into a trap of having expectations. Yes, we sure can put our life on hold and choose to wait, but such a sacrifice does not guarantee anything.
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We choose to wait because we think that the waiting in itself is a heroic act that has to be rewarded with their loving us back. It is like their love for us is already present on their future calendar and all we have to do is to patiently live through miserable weeks, months, and years until we reach that date.
In other words, we choose to be stuck in our delusions that not all is lost if only we wait long enough.
The question is – for how long?
How much time do you personally need to figure out if you like someone enough to consider a meaningful relationship with them? How much help, guidance or convincing do you personally need to figure out if you feel attraction for them? And here is an even more interesting question: how much time do you personally need to figure out if the attraction is mutual?
You see, since for most people it does not take much time or an effort to figure out whether they are attracted to someone or not, their murky response ‘I am not sure’ means one and one thing only – NO. Notice how their ‘I am NOT sure’ contains NO in it already?
If they are ‘not sure’ (translation – do not love you), then waiting for 1 year or your entire life will not change this fact. Attraction and love is not a choice. It just happens. It is either there or it is not. They either feel it or they do not.
Sure, it takes some time for feelings to grow and develop, but it rather happens sooner than later. Waiting for someone who is ‘not sure’ for many months and years to figure out what the heck they feel is the most stupid thing you can do to yourself.
Don’t you want to have the real deal instead of ‘not sure’?
We all do, and it includes the one you love by the way.
Look, they already know you have feelings for them. If they are not stupid they understand that they could have the real deal with you if only… they could love you back. But the problem is that they DO NOT. They may want to love you, but they cannot. You cannot force love.
If it has been 1 year and they are still ‘not sure’ it means that they will never be sure. One year is generous enough to figure out what one feels… or does not.
* Love is never about ‘not sure’. It is always ‘Yes’ and it does not hesitate. It is rather impatient, persistent, and bold. It is never ‘we will see’ or ‘let’s give it time’.
* Love is not just a ‘noun’ or a ‘feeling’, it is a verb which means ‘action’. Those who love us show it with their deeds and those who do not – with BS excuses.
* Love is courageous and is not afraid of the ‘forever’ word. Do not wait for someone who is afraid to be with you forever. When they love you they call it ‘forever’, when they do not – they call it ‘stuck’. Is this what they are afraid of? Of being stuck? If so, don’t just walk, run! With that kind of attitude they will never grow to love you. They may grow to leave you instead.
* Love is about feeling desirable. How valuable and desirable do they currently make you feel? There are people out there capable of valuing and loving you back right away without having to wait on your part.
Just because you chose to wait and just because you have feelings for them, it does not mean that one day they will magically feel the same. Some people are just too busy wasting their best years of life on building dreamy sand castles.
If they are ‘not sure’ do not be afraid to walk. Perhaps the distance between you two will make them ’more sure’, and should it be the case they will know how to find you. Trust me on this.