So, he disappeared after several dates, huh? Well, good for you!
Is it even possible – you ask? How can this be good for me??
There are several reasons why some men disappear after several dates. Yes, especially after several seemingly good dates.
I call it ‘heartache prevention’. And as we all know it, preventions are good. Would you rather have a heartache later on? No? Let me explain.
Just like we disappear on men for our own personal reasons, men disappear on us for their own personal reasons too. But what are they??
That’s when we have to do a little digging. They won’t do it for you, you know. How many times were you graced with an explanation after a short-lived love hurricane was over? Exactly.
Now, this is going to be fun, ladies, I promise.
When a defective fish self-releases itself back into the ocean, you should count your blessings. Pushing the ‘eject’ button is so much harder later on. That’s because if they were to stay longer, YOU would be stuck with the dirty job of breaking up, one year sicker of them. So so sick, that spending summer in Montana, castrating sheep, would feel like a paradise in comparison. Wow!
But what if I did not want to break up? – you ask.
That’s exactly the reason this article was created. Believe me, you DO want them gone. Just read the article first, Ok?
Life experience shows that the most frequent reason a man disappears early on in a dating relationship is when he grossly misrepresents himself.
Men are aware of the standards and should they happen to be a loser (or maybe a 50% loser) they know. They know who they are! I call this type a ‘peacock’. It is all about their bushy gorgeous tales and fake stories. Lots of them!
They dress up as wealthy CEOs, drive rented or borrowed expensive cars to impress you, throw borrowed cash all over and shower you with gifts. If you have ever met a perfect golden goose laying golden eggs, then please know – 99% of the time it was fake. The fakery of this scale and proportion is not sustainable long-term and therefore - explains their disappearance.
But I would understand - you say – I am ok with him being of an average income man. No! He is not average. The underlying reason they fake everything in the first place is them being sore losers wearing dorky shoes. Got it? They do not want to be found out and therefore - disappear.
Should you stick with them longer the fog would lift. You either will lose attraction or struggle in poverty for the sake of love. Hope you are not like that!
Either way, this is the case when things are usually doomed from the start. They knew it was doomed. The bottom line is you lost nothing.
Another reason that is of a high frequency is them looking for something that you are not. Let’s say you met for a lovely lunch. During a nice conversation, he got the feeling that you are ‘not like the rest of them’ and that you are a decent woman looking for a boyfriend and committed relationship.
That’s when their stinky ass sends an abort mission signal. You are not what they are looking for (aka not a hook-up chick, for example) and therefore – the disappearance.
You will not know what happened and they won’t tell you. They sense the wrong fish and immediately leave. This is just another example of men being selfish: why is it the woman who always tries to make relationships work and it is the man who bolts at the first sign of difficulty? Like, you could make a deal at least – he gives you romance and you give him sex. Not that bad.
Because they are selfish they won’t give; and like most men, they leave all major decisions to their penis. Count your blessings, beautiful lady. You just dodged a bullet. Yikes!
Some more examples of disappearing users, takers, and nooky junkies: married and looking for a mistress, already in a relationship and looking for a side piece, in on- and off- relationship with another woman, looking for out-of-town adventure... you get the idea.
These yucky cases of extreme takers are very common. So, do not be upset that he is gone. You DO want him gone. It is for your own good.
Another, super frequent reason for them disappearing on you is the lack of chemistry. “I know I know” - you say. The confusing part here is the dates themselves. If the dates are awesome, does it mean you have chemistry? (See – Love Maps here)
You see, some people just like to have a good time. When two people have a good time it is easy to assume that there is chemistry. It could be there or it could be not. The bottom line – if it was there you would still be together.
At the end of the day it does not matter how good, fantastic or super-unforgettable your dates were. All it matters is that they gave it a chance and did not feel it.
Have you ever bought something and then wanted to return it? First was the fascination (therefore the purchase) and then there was a disappointment (and therefore the return).
It is the same story. First, they were all over you, and then – not so much. You are a returned merchandise and guess what? You do not want them either!
When these things happen I suggest moving on super quickly.
As I have mentioned earlier, them being gone is good for you. Would you rather be in a relationship full of deceit? No deceitful relationship with a con man and fraud means no heartache. That’s right, heartache prevention! Agree with me now?
True, you will never know the exact reason for them disappearing on you, and that is OK. All we know is that all of those reasons are ultimate disqualifiers for you too. They simply did us a favor and left first.
They already knew it was not going to work out. Sometimes we do know it too. It is just that we rarely to almost never let the other person know. It is much easier to leave through the back door, with a tail between the legs… Happens all the time.
He was not your future husband.
P.S. If you feel like you need to talk to someone because your situation is too unique and most of the stuff you read on the internet is too generic and not helpful, then I would personally like to recommend you this affordable online counseling service. You will not be disappointed.
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