Playing a player vs. getting a player
Are you a fed up woman looking for revenge – to beat him at his own game?
Or maybe you’re nursing this secret hope of coming off as ‘different’, to make him fall in love and become his girlfriend?
What is it that you are looking to get out of this game? In other words – what’s in it for you??
You see, playing a player and getting a player are two different things. Depending on what it is that you are looking for - either just playing him or actually making him yours – there are certain things you will have to do to achieve this goal.
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In case you are dying to know the answers I will give you a hint: getting him will be much easier than just playing (him). I’ll show you both ways, and by the time you finish reading the article you will know exactly what to do.
Now, before you even contemplate anything, a certain prerequisite should be met – he should be interested in you. If he has no interest, then your game is over. You cannot pull emotional strings of someone who has zero romantic feelings for you.
Think of some man (you have zero feelings for) dating one of your classmates or colleagues – WOULD HIM DATING SOME OTHER WOMAN (INSTEAD OF YOU) BOTHER YOU?? I do not think so! Who cares who he dates! And since you have no feelings for him, his not calling or ignoring your presence would never impact you the way it does when you like a man. So, ladies, him having feelings for you is a must.
If you just want to play a player here is what you should know and do to succeed.
In order to play him successfully you will need to be prepared to go against yourself, your own needs, and against your own emotions. It will be uncomfortable and difficult at times, but keeping your head cool is paramount.
Another thing to be aware of is that players are very experienced with women. These men know what words to say and what compliments to give to make a woman melt. They also know how to behave and what to do to get a woman in the shortest time frame possible.
They are never focused on only one woman at a time - there are usually several of them they are playing with - and as you have probably guessed by now, if this guy is in such a mode, there is no way he is ready or looking for a committed relationship.
To play a player you will need to become a Master of mixed signals, the kind of signals that will make him feel confused and off balance. And as long as you keep the game going, you will indeed start coming across as ‘different’.
Since you will be seen as someone he has no control over, it may lead to him developing a serious crush on you. Unfortunately, as soon as you drop the veil and become yourself – the vulnerable, perhaps insecure at times, longing for a loving boyfriend woman – he will spot the change and re-adjust his attitude immediately.
You will become like the rest of the women he plays and he won't see you as being ‘different’ anymore. He may even leave you in the dust, heartbroken and disappointed… Which means - he won the game.
Just let me remind you of something one more time: you want to play a player to win HIS game (by breaking his heart and leaving ) and not vice versa.
If you are secretly hoping to make him fall for you AND THEN to become his girlfriend – you will fail. He is not looking to have a girlfriend right now, and you cannot make him do so. He is a player for a reason, and there are explanations as to why he is the way he is right now. Those reasons are of an emotional or of a circumstantial nature, and you cannot control them.
Just accept it as a fact, that he is neither looking nor ready for a girlfriend - boyfriend relationship at this time.
Here is the list of mixed signals and messages you will have to use to play a player:
~ Act very interested and flirty one day and totally detached the next.
~ After showering the player with compliments (he is now so sure you are into him!) switch to a criticizing mode. Now he thinks his radar is broken and his slightly spinning head is trying to solve the ’she likes me, she likes me not’ puzzle.
~ Alternate your response time to his phone calls, emails, and sms. Try to respond with extreme randomness - right away, hours, or even days later. When, for example, responding days later try acting very interested, happy, and enthusiastic. Behaving in such a manner will make him confused, and he will be unable to connect the dots - your responding with such a delay (equals not being interested) will never reconcile with an enthusiastic tone of your message (equals being interested).
~ Make sure he knows that there is someone else in the picture (date others!). A beta male would digress, but since he is an alpha male, he will take on the competition. After all, he dates and flirts with others too!
~ After establishing a routine communication disappear on him for one week, and then reappear all super sweet and nice.
~ Do not ever show any jealousy over other females he is talking to or dating. You need to pretend like it totally does not bother you.
~ When on a date, compliment him a lot and then... call him some other guy's name. Doing so will hurt his ego. Make sure to remedy the situation by massaging his ego with delicious compliments.
~ Keep being in control and keep delivering those mixed signals. Alternate the ‘I am all over you’ behavior with ‘I could care less’ to achieve the desired effect.
~ And last but not least, something else to keep in mind: since he is a player HE WILL BE DOING ALL OF THE ABOVE TO YOU, TOO. Yes, it is a brutal game, so be prepared.
If you want to get a player and make him your man
As I have mentioned before, there is actually a much easier and more natural way to win a player. You have probably never thought of it before, but in order to pave a way to his heart you will need to become his platonic friend – confidant. This approach will immediately set you apart from others and will indeed make you look ‘different’.
You, as a woman with intuition and developed verbal skills, will do a fantastic job sharing your thoughts, interests, and opinions on different situations and subjects. Make him talk to you about everything that bothers and interests HIM – issues in college or at work, current challenges and goals, disappointments, achievements, and of course – dates with other women.
Offer to provide an insight on female’s behavior and give reassurance, encouragement, and admiration when needed. Developing emotional connection with this man will achieve something that no other woman he is playing with can do – if you do a good job talking and being understanding he will then start confiding in you, and as a result – addicted to you being in his life. Emotional connections are way more powerful than the physical ones, and as soon as he develops that attachment, he will become all yours.
Let me remind you again that he is a player for a reason. Whether it is circumstantial or emotional, you will have a chance to break through that shallow shield, he is wearing in public, and reach out to the most intimate deep core of his. Make him talk about it, make him vent, make him believe you are the only person on this planet who understands what he is going through and how he feels.
P. S. Do not be surprised if one day he may decide that you are THE ONE.
P. P. S. At this point, if you decide to reject him, you can seriously break his heart. Unlike the other females, who he is connected with on a shallow level, your leaving will produce a great deal of pain and a deep sense of loss. The closer and more intimate you were connected together, the greater the feeling of loss.
In addition to this, I would like to also mention one fascinating, scientifically proven fact: emotional attachments are stronger than the feeling of love. So, in essence, you do not even need to make him fall for you, all you will need is to develop an emotional connection.
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