He is dating someone else too!
Did you just find out that he is dating someone else too? You thought that it was just You and Him and there was something very uniquely special between you two, until it was not… because let’s face it, if there is someone else besides you, it is not really that special to him.
Not to rain on your parade, but this is just the beginning of a free fall.
I say, try to talk to them about it to get some truth and see what happens. I can give you a 10000% guarantee that one of the following will take place:
~ They will pull the ‘we are just friends’ card (yeah, right)
~ They will act like it is all nothing and may even ridicule you should you become obsessive over that ‘nothing’
~ They will not talk about it, will switch subjects or postpone the talk
~ They may claim that she is a stalker
~ They may say “Oh, she is just my ex, we are done, you have nothing to worry about”
~ They may also say: ”You are my ‘main’ woman and the rest of them do not mean anything”
It is really a mind shattering experience to discover that there is a woman out there who he is spending time with; and let’s agree that when they are alone together, playing checkers is not on their ‘to do’ list. We both know that, right?
There are men out there who date, date and date, but never settle down with anyone. If your man is dating you, was dating other women before you, is dating somebody else besides you and seems to be content with the way things are, then you’ve got a stringer on your hands. And, even if you think it is not so in your case, them having another relationship running in parallel with yours raises a major red flag.
This is an immature man whose romantic life is a permanent date. These men never matured enough to progress beyond just basic dating. Last time I remember this happening was in high school. This is when immature boys compete with other boys about who dates who and how many girls they can get.
These are immature men who never matured enough to desire a permanent partner. Having something permanent and being actually satisfied with it is a foreign concept to them. They date more than one woman at a time, feel like the king of a high school, and never grew up enough to get beyond seeing women as nothing more than a casual date partner.
Think about it: when two people date and their relationship grows, eventually things progress to the point when it is time to move in together. It should not take years to come to this decision. Stringers, on the other hand, neither move in nor suggest moving in together. You call it commitment phobia and I call it for what it is: moving in together ties up their other date nights.
Dating two women at the same time is a learned skill. It does not come naturally to anyone. It has to be learned through life experience and refined over time. Eventually they become very good at it.
These are the slick talkers who know what words to say and what compliments to give to get a woman hooked. These are the men who possess a special skill of talking women into bed.
Take a look at your current cheating man. Was he good at getting you under his spell from the start? Did it feel rehearsed? Did it seem like he knew what he was doing? No awkwardness of any kind, no hesitation, and no shyness? Yeah…. That’s your clue.
A stringer is the type of man who upon identification, should be dropped like a hot rock. Men who have a talent of getting other women into bed are not suitable for monogamous long-term relationships. Actually, it is a terrible talent to have for your partner.
Many women ask what they should do. ”I just discovered that he’s dating someone else besides me. I thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend! Who is that woman and why is he seeing her? Am I not good enough for him? I am devastated and do not know what to do. I thought we had a great relationship”
By the way, just a food for thought: when you say “we had a great relationship” — it is more like what you thought it was and not what it was in reality. Your perceptions of a relationship were not accurate.
So, back to the question of what to do.
Stop obsessing over the other woman, stop asking questions, stop crying and begging and just go ahead and end the relationship. Why? Because it is not what he does to that woman, it is not what he says or does behind your back, it is not what he is hiding or what he is feeling. It is about the type of a man who will never be a good partner. He will never be a good choice for anyone who is looking for long-term love with a reliable mate.
And no, do not reward his behavior with an intimate evening. Do not try to explain the obvious to a grown man. You should simply leave the damaged goods and go on with your life. There are good quality men out there for you!
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