When he says he has a stalker
It usually happens in the very early stages of a dating relationship - somehow down the line, he may casually mention that he has a stalker. He may even be bold enough to admit that currently he is being pursued by one or several of them. He thinks it makes him manly and attractive in your eyes.
Ladies, one big red flag here! Him having stalkers says something about HIM and this something means that there is a huge chance this man has a tendency of either not ending or failing to end his relationships appropriately.
Why do you think those stalkers are still in the picture ? Are they ALL crazy?
That woman, who he calls a stalker, has some legitimate reasons to believe that they are still an item. There is a big probability that he has exited the relationship without saying a word to her. One day she had a boyfriend and the next day - she did not. Where is he now, and where did he go? She is off balance and wants to know what is going on, and so she keeps calling to find out. Meanwhile this dude is busy courting another lady, and should his agitated former girlfriend appear in the picture, HE WILL CASUALLY REFER TO HER AS A STALKER.
Why does it happen? It happens because this man has very poor communication skills. He does not have the courage to be direct with a woman, and in order to get out of a relationship, he chooses the easiest way to break it off - either by disappearing, or entering a new relationship.
The woman, on the other hand, has no idea that the relationship is over. She thinks that he is either busy or something happened to him. She keeps calling and calling hoping to get a hold of him and get some clarity. He does not want to hurt her by direct rejection or he could be still having some doubts about letting her go completely, so he gives her mixed signals (read: a glimmer of hope) just enough to fuel her calling. He puts her on the back burner, so to speak.
Basically, while still having an unfinished relationship with HER, he has managed to enter a new relationship with YOU.
I'm sorry you have to be in this situation, but here are the things you could do to protect yourself from being hurt.
~ If this is his learned behavior, he may eventually do it to you as well. With this being said, keep your heart on guard and try not to take this relationship too seriously. A sufficient amount of time will have to pass for you to start trusting him completely. Also, as long as his ex is in the picture you need to be guarded. This is for your own emotional protection. (Article – Will he get back together with his ex?)
~ No matter how tempting, do not even try to open that Pandora's Box. Asking about her and their relationship is going to be a waste of time. Why? Because he will not tell you the whole true. Do not give him a chance to lie to you. Leave that part of him alone, it is between her and him. Stay out of it completely.
~ Most men who jump from one relationship to another are either players or commitment-phobics. None of it is good news. Only time will tell whether he is an innocent victim of circumstances (crazy exes do exist!), or a wolf in a sheep's clothing. By being patient you will know your answer.
P. S. If you feel like you need to talk to someone because your situation is too unique and most of the stuff you read on the internet is too generic and not helpful, then I would personally like to recommend you this super affordable online counseling service.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Articles - Men with a 'buffet' mentality and Here is what he does when he doesn't have the guts to break up with you or my popular eBook: Infidelity - how to get rid of his mistress