Men who won’t stop shopping online
Back then, in the old days, when there was no internet, dating felt different. It was about socializing, face-to-face meetings, phone calls and referrals of friends.
That is not to say there were no jerks back then, it is that the whole thing was a little bit more humane. Due to a geographically restricted circle of communication there were consequences for bad behavior.
And what do we have now?
We now have the Internet full of filthy people shopping online across the country and continents even though they are in a relationship already… or appear like it?
These men shop around and make no big deal of it because, in their filthy mind, having you and cruising online at the same time are two different things. These two activities – the relationship with you and roaming around on the web - go in parallel with each other and are not expected to cross.
It is like them living in two different dimensions where one is dedicated to you and the other - to somebody else.
So, are you dating a guy who won’t stop shopping online?
Keeping silent and hoping the bad behavior will go away would be the dumbest thing to do in this situation. Remember what I have said earlier? They do not think it is a big deal!
Do not be afraid to bring it up. When it comes to hurtful behavior like this we have to have standards and expectations. Bringing this up won’t mean you are a confrontational, selfish, needy or insecure person.
Shopping around online is the same as hitting on women on the streets, shopping malls, bars and anywhere else they could be found. Hitting on women online is no different than hitting on them - let’s say in bars - because it requires some energy to BS their way into their panties.
Even though, some may not go along with this up to the end i.e. go to bed with them, it is the effort, energy invested, and time focused on another woman that counts.
If he is with you, then why play with somebody else? Are they looking for something better (aka not fully satisfied with you)? Why waste all that energy on strangers, risking rejection, if there is somebody else already waiting on them, available to spend time with (i.e.YOU)?
I do not get the crazy logic but you have to stand up for yourself here:
~ Let them know that you know
~ Let them know also that as long as they are active online things between you and them won’t move forward (meaning sleeping together)
~ You would expect them to de-activate their profile rather sooner than later.
You may want to keep in mind that since this is what they have probably been doing for a long time, there were other women who told him the same thing. The question is – where are all those women? I will give you a hint: guess who dumped whom?
It is kinda bad-good news because since they have already gotten accustomed to other women’s demands, they already know what will follow should they disobey.
It will be solely up to them then to save the relationship… or to lose it.
Watch them promise you something or whatever, but if after a certain period of time they are still looking, cut them off and find yourself a guy who can fully focus on you. Men who are shopping online are not fully available.
These are the men who never make a choice and are afraid to commit to one woman out of fear of missing out of something better. With the infinity of possibilities and myriad of choices it may seem like there could always be something better indeed and therefore a constant, never ending search.
In my opinion, those who have been active online for many years are searching for something that does not exist. You are just a mere mortal with flaws and imperfections (we all are!) which means that to these men you will never be enough.
They talk to multiple women, meet them spontaneously, never give a chance to any of them and are never satisfied. They are not emotionally available, do not want to be available and perhaps will not be available for a long long time.
This is certainly not your problem. Just recognize the type and get away from them as fast as you can.
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