If you feel sad about not having a boyfriend

If you currently don’t have a boyfriend and are feeling sad about it, then I think you are just looking at only one side of the coin. How about the other side? Would you like to flip it over and find out the story?

At first glance, it is easy to get sad and depressed over having no boyfriend, especially if everybody else you know is in a relationship already.

Their happy and sunny stories of them enjoying each other’s company is not something that could possibly make YOUR day, and although, you may feel like you could be happy for them, you do not see how such news is supposed to make YOU feel happy.

Given your current state of mind, is there anything you could be happy about anyway?

Well, the other side of the coin is this - you should feel happy FOR YOURSELF for not having to deal with all the drama others are dealing with while in a relationship.

You will never believe how much grief, problems, and toxicity people deal with when in a relationship. Ever heard of stories of happy looking couples quietly breaking up after several months or years of being together? Do you know why they did what they did? Would you like to be in their place?

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When you see a couple on the street holding hands (aka a painful reminder of what is missing in your life), what you need to do is to immediately realize that there is the other side of the coin. You have no idea what is going on between them and what is happening behind closed doors.

Your sadness and loneliness are based on the fact that you are not in a ‘HAPPY’ relationship. But what makes you think, that if you were to find a boyfriend, your relationship would be HAPPY?

After an initial rush of first dates (provided he will not disappear on you) you will be faced with common issues many women in relationships do:

~ his pulling away and being distant
~ jealousy
~ possibility of an ex in the picture
~ bad habits and hidden addictions
~ cheating
~ inability to commit and delayed proposal
~ him 'not being ready' for months, or even years
~ issues with him having cold feet AFTER proposal
~ possible breakup and painful attempts to move on
~ getting stuck in a making up – breaking up cycle

These are examples of real issues that take place every day in many romantic relationships. What do you think about such a bouquet of problems?

You could certainly dismiss all of them now, but once in a relationship, they will creep up on you, one by one, as a brutal reminder of what it is like to be in a relationship with a man. It is not a pick-nick, ladies!

Not trying to be pessimistic or overly negative here, just REALISTIC. If you have ever been in a relationship before, then you know exactly what I am talking about.

There is no such a thing as an ideal relationship or an ideal boyfriend. There will always be something to upset us or make us feel lonely and unloved. This is true, it is very possible to feel lonely and unloved when in a relationship.

So, here is my conclusion: No Boyfriend = no sleepless nights, no anxiety, no fights, no checking your phone every 5 minutes, no broken promises, no tears, and no hurt feelings.

I could make this list longer, but I hope you get the idea.

If you are currently single and do not have a boyfriend, it means you are absolutely free from anything and everything that those, who are in relationships already, have to deal with on a regular basis.

It also means, that you could take your time to reflect on your previous relationships and take mental notes of mistakes you made, crossed boundaries you should not have crossed, and other undesirable elements you would rather avoid in the future.

You may also want to take a closer look at the reasons why they didn't work out or the ending of every relationship you have had, and see if you are stuck in a pattern of picking a certain type of a man.

If you keep picking the same type of a man every relationship will be destined to play out AND end in the same manner as all your previous ones. You can break this pattern by 1) becoming aware of it and 2) avoiding this exact type of a man. This time ladies, you do not want to have JUST a boyfriend, you want to have a GOOD boyfriend!

And you cannot find a good boyfriend if you feel DESPERATE. Acting desperate is like being a starving homeless stranger who will devour anything you will put into his begging palm. He will eat anything you will offer because he does not know when his next meal will come.

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When we are desperate, we tend to ignore red flags and tend to put up with disrespectful behavior. We are afraid to stand up for ourselves out of fear of losing him and may have other relationship issues we were hoping to never experience with our next boyfriend.

Acting desperate brings us to square one meaning we may end up with yet another dysfunctional, unsatisfying, and unhappy relationship once AGAIN!

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