Sir Keeps Coming Back, but He Has No Plans to Stay

Some men date several women because they are still searching for The One. This Sir, however, may have discovered that searching is far less fun than simply enjoying all of them.

One woman is funny, another is affectionate, and another looks particularly lovely across a dinner table. Each connection is flattering, easy and still light enough that nobody has begun asking the sort of questions that can make a perfectly cheerful man suddenly decide he needs “space.”

Why spoil such a marvelous situation by choosing?

Sir’s romantic life can begin to resemble one of those chic receptions where he discovers, rather happily, that he is excellent at working the room. He stops beside one woman, gives her his full attention, makes her laugh and stays just long enough for the conversation to feel special.

Then, before anybody gets too comfortable, he moves along.

Not goodbye, of course. Sir will be back.

Sir Is Wonderful in Small Portions

And this is where the whole thing works beautifully, because Sir does not neglect women. Goodness, no. Neglect would ruin the atmosphere.

He knows when to circle back.

One woman has begun wondering whether his interest is fading, and there he is again—warm, charming and suddenly very interested in dinner. Somewhere else, another woman may recently have enjoyed much the same return.

Everyone feels better, Sir especially.

At this chic little reception, Sir is having a marvelous time. One table has crisp calamari, another has shrimp on tiny porcelain spoons, and somewhere across the room are those little roasted potatoes in a sauce so good that three women have already asked for the recipe. Sir wanders over, has a bite, enjoys the conversation, says something delightful and lingers just long enough to feel beautifully received. Then something interesting catches his eye a few tables away, and off he goes again.

He is not exactly hungry. He simply sees no reason to settle in one place when the whole room is being so generous. A little conversation here, something delicious there, another warm welcome on the other side of the room—and goodness, why sit down when circulating is going this well?

And really, that is part of the charm. Each relationship stays in its prettiest stage, when there is still plenty of sparkle and nobody has had enough time with him to become terribly familiar with the less sparkling bits.

Sir gets affection in lovely manageable portions, closeness without having to settle too deeply into it, and the rather delicious experience of being wanted in several corners of the room.

He is not ignoring anyone.

He is circulating.

Then Someone Pulls Out a Chair

Eventually, though, one woman does something Sir had not quite counted on: she expects him to stay.

Nothing outrageous, mind you. Madam has not started planning a wedding or debating whether the champagne should be French. She has simply noticed that Sir keeps coming back and made the understandable mistake of thinking all these return visits may be leading somewhere.

A whole weekend would be nice. Seeing him twice without requiring unusual planetary cooperation would also be lovely. She may even ask whether he is dating anyone else.

Goodness. The reception had been going so well.

Because sitting down is where things become awkward for Sir. The moment he settles beside one woman, every little trip across the room starts looking less like charming circulation and more like something he may eventually have to explain. And goodness, Sir has been having such a lovely evening.

So he hovers.

He likes you enormously and loves what the two of you have, which is precisely why Sir sees no reason to spoil such a lovely thing by suddenly making it serious. Why rush when everything is going so beautifully already.

You may take all this hovering as uncertainty about you, which would be perfectly reasonable. The more amusing possibility is that Sir knows exactly how he feels: he likes you very much. He simply likes the rest of the room too.

Sir Was Never Looking for a Table

A man who dates several women can easily look like a man who simply has not met the right one yet. Woman A was lovely, but something was missing. Woman B came closer. Woman C may finally be the extraordinary creature who makes him want to settle down.

Maybe.

But sometimes none of the women has failed anything. Sir simply prefers this part of the evening.

The entrances are lovely. The conversations are fresh. Everybody is pleased to see him. Nobody has yet spent enough ordinary time with him for the sparkle to wear off around the edges.

Why would a gentleman hurry away from that?

The difficulty comes when one woman begins expecting more Sir than Sir had ever planned to leave at any single table.

And once you see that, his behavior becomes much easier to understand. He has not been wandering around desperately searching for somewhere worthy enough to keep him. He has been enjoying a room where several women are delighted whenever he appears.

Quite a different hobby, really. A woman may look at all those charming returns and imagine she is watching a man slowly make his way toward staying, while Sir has been enjoying something much simpler: the pleasure of knowing he can keep coming back.

He was never desperately searching for the right table. He rather liked being welcome at all of them.