Stay away from men who make you feel insecure
Have you ever noticed how differently we feel with different men?
Here is this man who spills jokes right and left and suddenly you laugh like never before, feel special, happy, and confident.
Here is another guy who is always way too serious, super-pragmatic, practical, and rigid. Try laughing in front of him (like never before) and watch his reaction. You will sure be perceived as a shallow or an 'air headed' woman.
See, since he is too serious, he does not remember the last time he laughed, therefore, someone's laughing over a simple thing does not make sense to him. To him being serious is being reasonable, but to you - being uptight and stiff.
Or think of a guy who is incredibly open about his feelings and intentions; he will surely make you feel very comfortable about sharing your own feelings for him in return. And now, try to speak openly about your feelings to a guy who is on the fence about your entire relationship and see what happens. You will be perceived as an emotional and unstable psycho.
Some men will make you feel unworthy, and some will treat you as a princess (even though you may do nothing deserve 'the status'), but there is yet another - quite popular - category of men who either through their communication style or behavioral pattern will make you feel insecure.
Like in the presented examples above, this type of a man will be a master at triggering another kind of a feeling, and this feeling is called 'insecurity'. And where there is insecurity, there is also anxiety, neediness, and feelings of being unloved and rejected as well.
Feeling insecure is bad enough, but experiencing anxieties on a top of this can be quite unbearable. This is one example of a miserable relationship you do not want to be in.
Now, it is OK to feel insecure in a relationship from time to time, but if feeling insecure and unloved is ALL YOU EXPERIENCE, then it is a clear sign that you are NOT COMPATIBLE, AND HE IS THE WRONG MAN FOR YOU. You would not tolerate a toxic friend or a relative giving you constant stress, would you?? If so, then why stay in a toxic relationship with an incompatible man?
These are the most probable reasons:
When you are desperate for attention and love, then receiving 10% of occasional 'love', in your opinion, is still better than nothing. If this is your case and you feel stuck, then you may find my affordable and empowering eBook very helpful: 'When you are DESPERATE FOR HIS LOVE; how to leave your bad relationship without feeling like you are going against yourself'.
Refusing to recognize that people do not change, and what you see is what you get. If he has been giving only 10 % of his love, then this is what you will be receiving on a regular basis.
You cannot make him love you more or to give you more. His style of loving is incompatible with yours. Asking of him to give more will make you look like 'a desperate, needy, demanding woman' in his eyes. Meanwhile, you will be thinking that he is just 'too cold' and therefore should be giving more. You are not demanding and he is not 'too cold' - you are simply incompatible.
A desperate attempt on your part to prove your own worth. You are insecure and desperate, and you use the man as a tool to validate your own self worth. A relationship with him is like an addictive validation cycle - the more he gives, the better you feel about yourself. This is not a relationship; it is called 'co-dependency'.
The only way to break it off is to adopt an attitude that this man is a substance that is wrong for your health and well-being. You need to recognize also that you have insecurity and self esteem issues.
You are attracted to a certain type
You are unconsciously attracted to a certain type of a man who triggers certain types of feelings (insecurity, anxiety), and somehow you equate these BAD feelings with love and being loved.
You may also think that meeting 'this type' is your fate, that you are destined to have relationships with 'this type' only, and that only lucky women have the most loving and caring boyfriends.
YOU ARE WRONG AND HERE IS WHY: every woman meets wrong guys for her, but not every woman will STAY with them. In other words, the only difference between the 'lucky in love' women and the 'unlucky' ones is that the 'lucky' ones recognize wrong men for them and drop them like a hot rock, meanwhile the 'unlucky' ones, due to some internal emotional issues, decide to stay. This is so simple yet so complicated for some.
I say ladies, adjust your radar and learn to recognize wrong men for you - pay attention to how he treats you and how he makes you feel. Feeling constantly insecure or like you are walking on eggshells are warning signs of a bad relationship for you. You are the boss of your personal life and free to leave at any time. After all, you can be either a 'lucky in love' woman who knows when to leave or an 'unlucky' one, who stays no matter what. YOUR CHOICE.
P. S. If you feel like you need to talk to someone because your situation is too unique and most of the stuff you read on the internet is too generic and not helpful, then I would personally like to recommend you this affordable online counseling service. For the fracture of the cost of a traditional therapy and for just a flat fee per week you will get an unlimited access to your licensed therapist. Talk to him/her as many times per week or day as you need to. Get your issue resolved on a professional level without breaking your bank account. See details here (you will love it!!)
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Articles - Be The One for You!, Do not date JERKS! and Dating red flags or this book: (UK - click here) If This Is Love, Why Do I Feel So Insecure?: Learn How to Deal With Anxiety, Jealousy, and Depression in Romance--and Get the Love You Deserve!