She broke up with me and now she is calling
So she broke up with you and now she is calling? This kind of thing can be like a nail gun to the testicles, especially when you still have feelings for her.
So, anyhow, there could be several reasons for her calling and almost none of them are good, unfortunately.
I know you are dying to know the ‘WHY?’, so here it is:
Why she calls after breaking up with you
1. It did not work out with another guy and now she is calling because she does not want to be alone. She has a spare airport to land at – YOU.
If this is the case, don’t be so flattered. Her behavior reveals that you are her #2 choice… and always will be. As soon as she finds a shinier ship to jump on, you will be forgotten, meaning - she will break up with you again.
2. She expected you to chase after her and you did not. Her Majesty's “Wounded Ego” cannot come to terms that she is indeed not that special to chase after, and so she is calling to get validation and an ego boost.
When she calls and you say “Baby baby I miss you so much”, her depleted ego gets a refill. In this case, you are just a validating tool for someone who has low self-esteem.
As you can see, there is nothing about you or your feelings in this call. It is all about her.
She will get reassurance and disappear... until next time.... leaving you feeling (and looking) like a stool sample.
3. After breaking up she had some time to be alone, to calm down, and to think things over. She remembered the good stuff and forgot the rest.
She is calling because she wants it all back.
You need to be very careful here and not be as trusting. Unless she brings up what went wrong and is willing to fix the issues, it will be just a matter of time before she breaks up with you again.
I am always leery about people wanting to come back. Nothing usually changes and things fall into the same old toxic pattern. This results in yet another bout of fights, hurt feelings, and eventual breakup.
Feelings subside, we get better, forget the pain, and then go out there to get some more pain.
4. She realized that the grass is not always greener on the other side. After sniffing around and not finding anything decent she decided to temporarily come back to you.
It is especially true if your relationship was good and you were a good boyfriend (aka a nice, always forgiving guy).
In this case, you will hear her saying how much she regrets the breakup, how it was all her fault, and how much she loves you.
5. Maybe she thinks of you as just a friend now? Did she offer to be friends? Some women don’t mind being just friends with their exes.
What to do:
Whether you are her spare airport to land on or someone she wants to try again with, I say – BE EXTRA CAREFUL. Unpredictable and unstable women are like a tornado – you never know when it will touch down and cause destruction.
When a woman dumps you like a bag of old doorknobs – it is serious.
First of all, do you have a clue why she dumped you? If not, then here is another red flag – she is a very poor communicator. She chose NOT to share her worries and anxieties. Bad sign!
You need to know what those worries and anxieties are and make her talk.
To make her talk say this: “I appreciate your calling me again, but may I know what it is that you are looking for this time?” “What do you want from me?” “Is there something that I could have done differently? You see, I cannot know what those things are until you tell me”
Since most guys are not that straightforward, she will be extremely touched by these questions. Hopefully, she will open up and you will know the “Why?”
“Hopefully” because she may still put on a defensive face and treat you like some clueless dude who is walking in a park in his underwear and talking to a bunch of pigeons.
If you do know why she left, then can you fix the reason(s)? Let’s not talk about her issues here for now, in her mind it was all your fault. Can you fix the issues? Are they even fixable? How much discomfort will you have to endure to make this relationship work? Do you want to put any effort into it?
A little hint: compatible relationships are easy. Maybe you are not compatible?
Another option is to cut her off and be done with it. Some women have a habit of calling their exes for years! Once they get under your skin it is like a splinter. Do not be that wussy ex! Women have no respect for wussy guys.
The bottom line: tread carefully, find out what she wants, figure out if it is workable for you and if not, then get the hell out of there. Here is the line: “I cannot be the man you want, sorry”
P.S. If you feel like you need to talk to someone because your situation is too unique and most of the stuff you read on the internet is too generic and not helpful, then I would personally like to recommend you this affordable online counseling service. You will not be disappointed.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Articles - Is it possible to move on right after a breakup? and I do not know why she broke up with me or if you are tired of rejections this very popular e-Course for men: Crack the Girl Code (stop being ignored and rejected!)