Be aware of a ‘carpet bombing’ dating technique! Are you an innocent victim?
The carpet bombing dating technique implies contacting many, many women at once (therefore – carpet bombing) to maximize chances of finding a woman. Sometimes, ANY woman, ahem…
Why guys do it? They do it because of blatant rejection.
If you ladies think that online dating is a disaster, then think again – for men it is even worse. It is them who have to do the initial work to hunt down a woman. We, on the other hand, just sit, wait and see who else will appear in our mailbox… only to delete them later.
As I like to say – an egg never chases a sperm.
Now, you may be wondering “Hmmm… and how exactly is it any concern of mine?” To which I will respond that you should be very concerned. You could be a victim of this technique without realizing it!
Let’s start from the very beginning. Let’s say there is a guy M. who wants to find a woman to spend time with. He can’t just go online and get ‘any’ chick he wishes, right? He could try of course, but there is a high chance he will be rejected time and time again.
When it comes to rejections, men are no different than us. After several bouts of rejections, they lose self-confidence and hope.
“Will I ever find a girl to be with? Will I ever find a woman who is interested in me?” – their typical thought process after 3 months of online dating and no results.
To overcome this depressing scenario, they resort to a carpet bombing technique. Feeling desperate, needy, and insecure, they contact a lot of women at once hoping for the best.
At this point let us stop for a moment and think: is it possible to be selective while carpet bombing? I do not think so. This is your first clue (I promise you will discover something disturbing here! Keep reading)
So, we have a guy M. who has contacted let’s say, 70 different women. Let’s think again: what are the chances that most of those women were just picked randomly, without much of a thought? I think the chances are very high! This is your second clue. Keep reading!
And here is where it all comes together. Let’s say you liked M’s profile, his pic and have decided to respond. “Bingo! – he screams – I got a response from a woman! I got someone interested in me! Whoo-hoo!”
The correspondence begins, then comes the first text, first phone call, first date, and then sex.
YOU: You like the guy. You really do. You read his profile and are truly interested. Naturally, you would like to see where it is going because you do not date those you do not feel attraction for.
HIM: he contacted you randomly, may have never read your profile, did not specifically select you among other women and the only reason he responded was that… you responded.
The bottom line is that you have a guy M. now who is not sure if he likes you, whether you are his type, and whether he is even genuinely attracted to you in the first place.
In these particular situations, men like to take a “wait and see” approach and see where it goes. That‘s where AMBIVALENCE takes place. They are still in kinda deciding mode. They want to take a closer look at the fish they caught.
If they think you are fun to be with and the sex is good, then guess what happens?
You will be stuck with a man who deep down knows you are not the one and therefore will never commit. This is because as soon as he realizes you are not the one it is over for him.
Here are the classic signs that you are a victim of a carpet bombing dating technique
~ Their interest level is like- warm; they may act sort of interested or semi-interested.
~ There seem to be other women lurking around
~ They are ambivalent about the status of your relationship
~ They like the sex, the time together, but the relationship will not progress
Hint hint – you were just picked randomly (who happened to like him, unfortunately) and his search for The One continues. Once he finds her, the rest of the women in his harem will be dropped. You included.
Ambivalent behaviors are very obvious. Strip all excuses and here you have it – a selfish, insecure jerk who is afraid to be alone.
They would rather be with you or any other woman than be alone. They would rather be with someone to feed their own fragile ego than soak in self-pity. They would rather have sex on Friday night or even once a month than no sex at all.
So, yes, there IS something in it for them. The ‘benefits’! What's in it for you??
This eye-opening conversation took place 2 days ago with a real man who resorted to the carpet bombing dating technique
- Dear M, why exactly would you want to be in a relationship with a woman you are not fully into?
- She is so nice to me! She treats me as a King. I like the feeling!
- Are you planning to eventually commit to the woman?
- No, I do not have romantic feelings for her. I like her and stuff, but she is not what I am looking for.
- Would you rather her know your true feelings?
- Why would I do THAT? I do not want her to leave.
- ??? After overcoming mild shock I proceeded.
- Does it mean you will keep looking for The One?
- Yes I will, but I do not believe I will ever find her. Women are so flaky. Maybe someday I’ll get lucky.
Here you are ladies, the brutal true straight from the horse’s mouth.
There is no need to interrogate someone like M. to figure out where you stand. Just look at the signs and their behavior. Are they loud enough to wake you up?
**AWAKENING FROM THE DREAM**
I once was in dreamland too. Not once, but two times! Two times I was deluded into believing that I was in a serious relationship with a man who felt the same. Those were long years wasted on excuses, hopes, desperately playing hard to get, and anything in between with no result.
Wake up and see the painful reality. Do they behave like they are still looking and you are just a temporary slot to fill-in? Don’t you deserve better??
Do not beg for commitment. You are not a beggar.
P.S. if you feel like you need to talk to someone because your situation is too unique and most of the stuff you read on the internet is too generic and not helpful, then I would personally like to recommend you this affordable online counseling service. You will not be disappointed.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Articles - Dating is like shopping; sometimes they do not like what they have got and would like to return it and Why online dating is such a disaster or my popular e-Book Sassy Bitch Reference Guide - What To Do When He... top 100 questions answered!