Classic lies men tell
It is extremely annoying when people say or promise one thing and then do something else, but it is twice as annoying and hurtful when a man, you feel attraction for, does something like this to you. Men do this, ladies, they do this all the time! Your goal is to identify the lie, not take it seriously, and not take it to heart eventually upsetting you unnecessarily. Lots of times
those empty lies are not even worth dwelling on! The minute you hear the following (see below) just shrug it off and go on with your business. One interesting point here: you will never hear these kind of lies from a man who is serious about you. It is the NOT serious ones who think that their lies make sense and therefore it's OK to tell them.
You cannot stop those men from feeding you with lies, but your recognition and understanding of those lies will help to preserve your peace of mind. You have to take care of your own emotional well being, he will not do it for you.
Listed below are classic lies men tell to make themselves (feel) better.
~ I will call you
This is probably the most universal, the most famous lie you have ever heard and yet so many women keep getting upset over his not calling over and over again! This 'I will call you' thing is especially common in the
early stages of dating. Why do men do this? Many men cannot just say 'thanks but no thanks' or 'it was nice to meet you, but I do not want to see you anymore'. Men are humans too and they have various feelings as well. They do experience negative feelings, but usually you will NEVER hear them voicing those feelings out loud. Instead of saying 'i am not interested in dating you' he will just say something less negative like 'i'll call you' or 'stay in touch'. It is just more polite (in his mind), less negative, and more emotionally pleasing way to end things between you two. I say, in the beginning of any dating relationship ignore what he says and pay attention to what he does.
Now, if you have been going steady for months, expectations should be such that he should stick to his promises and keep his word. If he is being flaky in this area, it is an indicator that he is not serious about your relationship, plus he is being disrespectful.
~ She will not leave me alone
Do you truly believe that that woman, who keeps calling and texting him for months, is doing it out of the blue and he has nothing to do with this whatsoever?? There are pathological stalkers out there but in 99% cases the situation is more simple: he is encouraging it! He responds to her messages and perhaps takes her calls as well!
By resorting to such tactics he gives her a glimpse of hope that there is something special going on between them, and therefore she keeps contacting him i.e. WILL NOT LEAVE HIM ALONE. She will not leave him alone because he does not want her to. If he really wanted for her to leave him alone, he could do one or all of the following: 1) demand to stop contacting him 2) stopped responding to her calls and messages 3) change his number 4) report her to the police for being harassed.
So, ladies, when your man plays a victim complaining 'gosh, she will not leave me alone' just know, that the only reason she is in the picture is because he wants her to be.
~ I love you
'How come he said he loved me and then did this and that? Did he really mean what he said?' - such a discrepancy between his words and actions is solid proof of a fact that he has indeed lied to you. Many men know that to say 'I love you' is a powerful aphrodisiac for women, and those men who are not nice do not mind using it to their advantage.
I say, if his actions are not in line with his telling you 'I love you', then simply ignore it. Some men are just addicted to saying these words to every woman they date! It is understandable how very young, inexperienced ladies could buy into these words, but if you are over 30 and still insist on believing in everything a man says, then you are in for a rude awakening. You will be burned and crushed, and you have no one to blame but yourself. Do not believe and totally ignore his 'I love you' nonsense until he had a chance to prove his words with meaningful actions.
~ I am not ready (for a relationship, commitment etc)
Men only do what they want to. Even if you caught him doing something incredibly altruistic rest assured - he is doing it for his own selfish reasons - to feel good about himself. So, when he says he is not ready just replace the 'not ready' with 'I do not want to' and you know your answer.
Men are always ready for something they want or are interested in. Imagine him receiving an unexpected, lucrative offer at work and an opportunity to make a decision within one week. I can give you a 100% guarantee that he will be ready for such an offer in less than 24 hours! If he's truly ready, then by asking him if he is, could be taken as an insult. Great opportunities don't present themselves on a daily basis and should such a happy event occur we better grab onto it right away like there is no tomorrow!
Now, back to you and him not being ready: since he is not ready it means he does not see you as something valuable and unique, something that's worth 'grabbing on to like there is no tomorrow'. He enjoys your company on a 'take it or leave' basis and puts ZERO EFFORT into being ready. Ask him why he is not ready and listen to what he has got to say. Does he have a plan on how to become ready eventually and if so what is it? I say, ask him all this and then see how long it takes him to respond. You seriously do not want to waste your time on someone who isnot trying, not willing, and not motivated to put an effort to become 'READY' for you.
I was busy
Sure he was! We are all busy! He was busy doing things that are important to him, in other words - he was spending all of his free time on things that have higher priority (than you). The article - Always busy men - covers this subject in a greater detail.
His 'I was busy' is a defense mechanism from you taking control over him and the relationship. Now, he could be genuinely
busy and tied up with responsibilities, and if this were the case, a truly caring and interested man would compensate and overcompensate his patiently waiting woman with compliments, dinners, affection, and a good quality time together.
For such a woman his business would not be an issue in the first place! It is the ones who starve you emotionally by providing small crumbs of attention we are talking about. His 'I was busy' combined with so-so time together means one and only one thing: he is not that into you!