On again - off again relationships
The on again - off again part time relationships are about receiving 50% or less of everything you would have usually received from a full-time, normal relationship. And please remember ladies, part-time could also mean 30% or 20% too.
You are not in a full time relationship and this is all that matters. How does it get to this point anyway?
When you start dating someone new, you hope it will develop into something meaningful. You are not signing up for receiving 20% of what you could get from a normal full-time relationship, are you? Who is happy with receiving crumbs anyway?? So, what happens, and at what point does your seemingly normal dating relationship suddenly makes an unexpected turn and becomes a part-time relationship??
Here is how it happens and YOU have total control over not being sucked in into this devastating sinkhole.
Here is the red flag to watch out for: after initial consistent attention he will make an attempt to disappear or cut communication by 99%. There will be no calls, no sms, and no emails. If you make an attempt to contact him, he will either respond with one word or wont't respond at all. He should be MIA for about one week to consider it a red flag. People get busy, tied up, forget to call and it is OK, we all have been there.
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In dating relationships, HOWEVER, (provided they like you) there is no way someone could go on for an entire week without contacting you. If one week has passed by and you heard nothing from him, this is THE END. This should be the end for you. Whatever is going on in his messed up head is none of you business and frankly, you should not care.
And now, here is something for you to be VERY careful about: he may eventually reappear, make some lame excuses or pretend like nothing happened, all happy and cheerful... asking to meet. Should you accept the date?
You see, he knows he did something wrong, he knows he was being disrespectful and yet he is hoping to get away with this. Accepting a date gives him a big green light to behave the way he has been behaving towards you and face zero consequences.
Meanwhile, you are about to accept a date from a man who you know was being disrespectful toward you, your emotions, and your dating relationship. In addition to this, you are about to accept a date from someone who will continue to disappear and reappear on you on a regular basis. THIS IS HOW ALL THE ON AGAIN - OFF AGAIN PART TIME RELATIONSHIPS BEGIN.
Are you in this kind of a relationship right now? Are you happy? If you think you've had enough please keep reading.
Actually, to be honest, if you are involved in this type of a relationship it says something about you too. Unless you are going through a very busy or difficult period in your life, and have no mental energy for any kind of relationship, the following are the reasons that make you stay in a part-time arrangement:
~ You could be suffering from low-self-esteem
~ You don't believe you could find something better
~ Things have always been this way with every man in your life
~ You are hoping the situation is temporary
~ Deep down you know he is not the right man for you, therefore, there is little investment on your part
~ He is involved with someone else and you are patiently waiting
~ You remember all the good things you had in the beginning, and now you keep lingering and hoping for those things to come back.
~ You think he loves you
~ You love him too, but he is commitment-phobic and he needs his space.
Usually, these semi-relationships do not have any future, and not every woman or man can even sustain these kinds of arrangements. It takes two to tango and let me guess, in 9 cases out of 10 he was the one who offered to dance. You accepted it reluctantly because in the back of your mind, you knew that it would not work for you long term.
The danger of these kinds of relationships is that they are somewhat 'addictive' and hard to break off. They tend to last for long periods of time and make you put on hold the rest of your relationship needs. You feel like you got frozen in time: what it used to be 2 years ago is as it still stands today, and let me reassure you, it will be the same 3 years from now.
The on again - off again part-time relationships are NOT dynamic and DO NOT evolve unless one party decides to stop the dance.
There is always something good about bad relationships - you have a choice to leave. If you are suffering in this relationship please understand that you are doing it all to yourself. No, he is not doing it to you, you have been doing it all to yourself by allowing him to be present in your life. As soon as you refuse to participate in this stupid, ridiculous dead-end dance it will be over.
The good news is that since this is not a full fledged relationship, and you know already how to live WITHOUT him, you will have no troubles of getting over him and moving on. There is no need to waste more time on a man who is unable, unwilling, and not capable of giving what you want. Asking for a full time relationship is not that much to ask, really! Do not feel embarrassed or apologetic for being a healthy individual, who longs for the very basic human need - to love and be loved.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Articles - When it's time to leave... and we don't, Do not fall in love with the 'beginning' and 20 signs he is not serious or IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH you may like my empowering eBook: When you are DESPERATE FOR HIS LOVE: how to leave your bad relationship without feeling like you are going against yourself