My boyfriend wants me to get breast implants

My boyfriend wants me to get breast implants. Actually he sort of insists on it. I think it is so shallow! Am I right? What should I do?? - Ann D.

It is my understanding that Ann is against the idea and is upset over him not being able to see beyond the size of her breasts.

Ladies, how many of you are insecure about the size of your breasts? In my experience – a lot. We think of it quietly and usually refrain from talking about it, unless it is a trusted family member or a friend. What they usually say is ‘Oh, do not worry about it. A man in love will love you for you’.

And guess what?

THEY ARE RIGHT.

So, your boyfriend wants you to get breast implants, huh?

Since he says that, then I think it would be correct to assume that 1) your breasts are on the smaller side 2) you are aware of it 3) you may feel insecure about it.

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Now, him mentioning it to you is like saying ‘Hey, I love you 90%, but you are not enough to love fully. If you get breast implants I’ll love you 100%’. And those of us who have insecurities will actually believe him… because it is like a conformation of what we think about ourselves already – as a woman with ‘wrong’ breasts.

The sad part is that such wrong beliefs affect our relationships with the opposite sex. If we believe that something is wrong with our body (like the size of our breasts in this case) we act upon it… and it shows. It shows big time!

As an example, how many of you worried about getting undressed in front of your man for the first time feeling scared that he may get disappointed with your small breasts? Or how about worrying that he may lose attraction towards you once he discovers your true size? Those push up bras DO make our breasts look fuller and as a result, we may worry that once a man discovers ‘the truth’ he will love us less. We are also worried that he may compare us to his previous girlfriend and she probably – no, we are 100% sure - had much fuller breasts.

I know, on one hand it is so shallow and stupid to even think like this, but on the other - these are true worries that feed our insecurities and affect our behavior with men.

And, the saddest part to all this? Your decision to get breast implants ‘for your boyfriend’ actually proves to him (and to you) that yes, you are not good enough and therefore a major fix is required to make things ‘right’.

This is crazy, ladies.

Take a closer look at your man and a relationship with him and try to figure out why it is not good enough for the both of you to enjoy it as it is? Does he have a fetish of some sort? If he knew (come on, it shows through your clothing) you had smaller breasts and if it is so darn important for him, then why did he start a relationship with you in the first place? Did he always talk about it or did it just start? He was dating you before and seemed OK, why the sudden change? What if you put your foot down and say NO?

Males with twisted minds have a great deal of power over insecure women. They say ‘Oh, your legs are too fat’ or ‘Maybe you should do a nose job’. To insecure women these statements are like verdicts and conformation that there is indeed something very wrong with them. They won’t even question what kind of a man these statements are coming from.

DO YOU QUESTION? Do you ever question who this man is and why he says what he says?

Look at him now. Does he need a nose job? Maybe a brain job too? What else is not to your whimsical liking?

I say ladies – there is no such a thing as a ‘wrong’ size of breasts.

If he does not like the size or a shape of your natural, healthy, given by Mother Nature beautiful breasts, then he has 3 choices 1) to break up 2) not to look at them 3) to get over it.

Notice, there is no breast implants surgery included. That’s because we are not turning ourselves into a pretzel to please an unreasonable man with a twisted mind.

These are immature men who are unable to enjoy a woman as a whole. They probably watch too much porn or collect playboy magazines. They may lack in the IQ department or may not know how to relate to women on an intellectual level. The last one is probably the biggest reason.

I know men are visual and are attracted to good looking women, but history shows that once a man loves a woman, I mean like truly loves her, he will accept her for who she is.

Look around and see it yourself. There are plenty of happy couples where a woman has small breasts and is not even that attractive. Yes, love is possible, long term happy relationships are possible, happiness is possible and, surprisingly, NONE of it ties to the size of breasts. Why? Because when it comes to caring and loving relationships the size of breasts does not matter!

You may want to work on your insecurities instead. I would personally ditch a man who insisted on me getting implants. Why? Because his request demonstrates that he does not accept me for me, that he does not see me as good enough to love me as it is, which means he does not love me. I am not going to do anything for a man who cannot love me for me. Hello! Would YOU??

P.S. if you feel like you need to talk to someone because your situation is too unique and most of the stuff you read on the internet is too generic and not helpful, then I would personally like to recommend you this affordable online counseling service. You will not be disappointed.