Letting go of a failed relationship

Your mind knows it is over but your heart will not let it go. Do you wish you had a switch in your head and heart to turn off all those emotions and memories to finally feel free? Wouldn’t it be nice??

Sometimes it is so hard to move on no matter how hard you try. Sometimes it feels like even if you TRY to move on you still,

nevertheless, get drawn back in by some bad sneaky forces, it’s almost like the entire Universe does not want you to move on.

Everything reminds you of him - a random song playing in your car, certain stores and places, common friends, and even a towel he used to use to dry his face after a shower. You feel like you are getting crazy and will never move on.

I want to give you hope, and please know that eventually you will move on. How do I know? Even at this difficult time for you I still have some sobering words of consolation: think of all your past relationships, crushes, emotional flings, and dramas associated with them. WHERE IS IT ALL NOW? It is all GONE! It is all in the past, you feel NOTHING or at least you are not suffering anymore. Do you know why? Because you were able to move on! And guess what? Your current drama is no different than your past dramas or future dramas you will experience. It is just another bump you hit on the long romantic journey called ‘life’.

Do you really think that 5 years from now you will be in such an acute pain as you are now? 1, 5, 10 or 15 years ago you had no idea this man even existed and you were JUST FINE. What does it mean to you? It means that you can be just fine without him going forward.

To spice things up – you will discover many other men in the future, the kind of men you have no idea (right now) that currently exist, but meanwhile you are doing just fine without them, right? Yes, life is fascinating.

So, to move on completely, keep repeating these words to yourself:

~ The current man I am obsessing about, is just another random man among all the men I met in the past and will meet in the future.

~ The relationship has failed for a reason. There was something wrong with it from the start that led to the break up later. Now, I am adding it to a catalog of my past memories, the place where it belongs.

~ I was able to move on and forget all my previous painful relationships, and it gives me a strong reason to believe that this time will not be any different.

~ My life was good before I knew he existed, and my life will be good after he is gone.

~ Nothing lasts forever. Every crush I had in the past felt like it would last forever but it never did. Therefore the feelings I’m currently experiencing about this man will not last forever either.

~ This is my life and therefore it should be about ME. I am my own first and the highest priority. In no way should it be about someone who does not value or appreciates me enough to be with me.

~ Thinking about what happened, what could have, or should have happened is like driving on a dead end street. All the thinking in the world will not change the fact that the relationship is over and it is in the past. With this being said, I am not going to waste my energy and emotions on something that cannot be changed. I will redirect that energy onto ME and my better future instead.

~ He is my past and I am moving forward with my life. Life does not move back, life moves forward only. If I keep dwelling on my past, I may miss out on my present opportunities!

From one of our male readers: "...With women that I later got involved with, I never even knew they existed before we met, so I realized I could live without them after a breakup, knowing that I could do so before we met. Also, time heals, so I no longer felt any heartbreak after enough time had gone by to heal..."

The nature of relationships is such that most of them do not last forever. It is just the way the selection process works – the less compatible you are with someone, the shorter or miserable the relationship is.

Your trying to make such relationships work is like swimming against the current. Why put so much effort into something that is not giving you joy? Why struggle so much by desperately holding on to something that makes you so miserable? If one wants to move forward, swimming against the current trying to fix an unfixable relationship is the wrong direction to go. You will not progress, you will simply stall.

Dear Brokenhearted Lady,

I hope this article gave you a great deal of perspective and legitimate reasons to finally move on. God bless your broken heart, and let me reassure you that you WILL feel better.

Put that past behind you, do not let it spoil your present and future.

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