You Want Him to Miss You and Suddenly Everything Is a Sign

After a breakup, one question has an extraordinary ability to settle itself into your life and refuse to leave.

Does he miss me?

At first, this seems perfectly reasonable. You loved each other, he is no longer there, and naturally you wonder whether somewhere on the other side of all this he is staring thoughtfully out of a window, regretting several major decisions and wondering exactly the same thing: Does she miss me?

Fine.

Then you notice he has looked at something you posted, and suddenly things become interesting. You were not expecting that. He did not message, of course, but he looked, which could mean he misses you. Or he is curious. Or he wants to know what you are doing. Either way, we have movement.

Then the next thing you post seems to pass completely unnoticed by him, which somehow becomes even more interesting. Maybe seeing you was too much. Maybe he had to step away. And just like that, you are reading signs.

Within days, almost anything he does starts looking as though it might mean something. If he likes something, he misses you. If he does not like it, he is trying very hard not to miss you. If he goes out with friends, clearly he is distracting himself. If he stays home, well, honestly, what more do we need?

Somewhere along the way, your perfectly ordinary phone has become a small velvet table.

And you have opened a fortune-telling salon.

Madam, Shall We Pull Another Card?

The salon is lovely, naturally.

Soft velvet, a candle, perhaps a little gold around the edges. You sit down looking calm and sophisticated while sliding one tiny piece of information across the table.

“He looked at something I posted at 11:42.”

The imaginary fortune teller considers this.

“Mmm.”

You lean forward.

She turns over a card.

LONGING.

Excellent.

Then you return with fresh material.

“He posted a photo looking very happy.”

The card is turned.

PRETENDING TO BE FINE.

Of course.

“He has not contacted me in nine days.”

Another card.

OVERWHELMED BY FEELING.

You begin to notice that this deck has a charming little habit of telling you exactly what you hoped to hear.

No matter what he does, the answer keeps coming back beautifully wrapped in the same conclusion: yes, he misses you terribly.

Even his silence is becoming chatty.

At this point, he could post a photograph of a sandwich and you would probably sit down at the velvet table wondering whether the mustard represents emotional distance.

The Reading Becomes Quite Generous

The trouble is that once everything becomes a sign, nothing has to make much sense anymore.

A song he once liked appears somewhere and immediately feels meaningful. His friend looks at something you posted, which obviously deserves consideration. Then you happen to pass the restaurant where you had your first date and begin wondering whether he has been thinking about it too, because why should geography be allowed to mind its own business?

Soon the imaginary fortune teller is working very hard.

You arrive with silence and she finds longing. You bring a cheerful photograph and somehow that becomes hidden sadness. Then you arrive with absolutely nothing new at all, and this, naturally, is the most meaningful development yet.

Madam.

We may be asking the cards to do quite a lot.

Still, you shuffle again, because by now a simple yes is no longer quite enough. You would also like to know whether he is missing you properly.

Not casually.

Not once while passing your favorite coffee shop.

You would prefer something more substantial. A little staring at the ceiling would be nice. Regret has always looked elegant from a distance.

And if possible, he should be remembering the exact things you would like him to remember.

Your laugh.

That dress.

The way you used to reach for his hand.

Certainly not the disagreement about him disappearing for half a day and then returning as though he had been inspecting the garden.

The cards do not need that level of detail.

Even the Fortune Teller Needs a Break

After a while, even this very accommodating little salon begins to struggle. Not because he gives you a clear answer. That would be far too convenient.

The trouble is, you are beginning to notice that whatever he does, the cards somehow tell you exactly what you came to hear:

If he looks, he misses you.

If he does not look, he misses you too much.

If he reaches out, obvious.

If he stays silent, profound.

At some point, even the imaginary fortune teller lowers the cards and looks at you over the velvet table: "Madam, we have now asked the same question twelve times, each time with a slightly prettier ribbon around it"

And suddenly the whole thing becomes rather funny.

Maybe he does miss you. Maybe it is only certain parts of you, or maybe he has picked up his phone once or twice and thought better of it.

Who knows? Even you eventually have to admit that the little salon has probably been open long enough.

The cards can go back in their box. The velvet curtain can close. The candle has done excellent work and deserves the evening off.

And somewhere out there, your ex may or may not be missing you.

For once, he will simply have to do it without a reading.