Is it OK for a woman to approach a man first?
If a feminine woman wants to have a masculine man, then she should NOT approach a man first.
Here is how it works. Generally speaking, men could be split into two categories: masculine and feminine.
Characteristics of a feminine man: does not like to take the lead, hesitates, will not initiate, cautious, rather passive, would rather be taken care of, is afraid, etc - you get the idea.
Characteristics of a masculine man: likes to take charge, ‘goes for it’, takes risks, confident, wants to succeed and provide.
Guess what happens when a woman decides to approach a man first? Approaching a man first means projecting masculine energy. And if he is a masculine man too, then he will be put off by it. Ouch! It will feel like an ice cube to a man’s sack.
Remember this: masculine energy is not attracted to masculine energy. When you approach a man first you act like a man (aggressive, takes charge, ‘goes for it’), and a masculine man will not like it. Masculine men do not like aggressive women and do not find them attractive. The whole thing just will not feel right to them.
The opposite is true for feminine men. You CAN approach a feminine man first and he will LOVE it. Feminine energy will be attracted to masculine energy in this case. Feminine men like aggressive and decisive women. They do not mind a woman taking charge and ruling the whole show.
However, this approach is not sustainable long term and here is why: once he is all yours and you are an item or perhaps even married, you may realize one day that you do not have a Man by your side. The kind of a Strong Man who takes charge, is ambitious and eager to protect and provide.
Biologically, females cannot be attracted to males who cannot protect and provide. It is very difficult to keep chemistry going with a man who needs to be protected and provided by you, the woman. Living with such a man will eventually feel ‘wrong’ and like something is missing.
It is hard to feel like a Woman with a feminine man. Being a Woman and feeling like a Woman feels great only in the presence of a masculine man. It feels natural and effortless.
Being stuck with a feminine man means acting like a man at all times. Actually, you will be expected to! Biologically, females are not wired for this role. Ladies, we are not wired to behave like a male!! Sooner or later you will get tired of being a man in a relationship and then guess what? That’s right... We know what follows next, don't we??
That’s the reason the singer Taylor Swift kept breaking up with her dates. Her words (not exact) “I do not want to be the one wearing pants in a relationship. The minute I saw it happening it was over”. Something of this nature, ladies, but you get the idea.
Feminine men will always have this feminine energy about them and it will not change. They are comfortable in this role!
Some women believe they can change a man and make him do things a masculine man would do. Unfortunately, this idea is as popular as a fart in an elevator. This happens on an unconscious level and the reason for this is a deep biological need to be paired with a masculine man.
Unfortunately, if he is wired to be a feminine man, then there is nothing you can do.
That is why approaching men first does not work. This tactic repels masculine men (the ones you want!) and lands feminine men (the ones you DO NOT want).
Approaching a man first means to pursue. Taking on this role means asking for his number, asking him on a date and perhaps calling /texting him too. When you take an aggressive role, you will be expected to initiate and lead.
Now, here is a BIG bummer, ladies. Ready? A man bonds with a woman via his pursuit. These are not my words. These are the statements I heard multiple times from men and relationship coaches.
Approaching him first deprives him of this experience. And there is more, ladies! Ready?
When a man pursues a woman she becomes his Prize. Approaching him first eliminates this possibility. Yeah….. speaking of a sense of self-value and self-worth. What woman in her right mind would be OK with that?? Don’t you want to be a cherished Prize?
And please, drop this mentality of him being a prize. He is not the prize. You are! If he pays bills it does not make him a prize. Paying bills is his job. It is a man’s job to protect and provide.
You are a beautiful woman and you bring Value to his life. He builds a table, works hard to get food, puts the food and candles on it and all you are expected to do is to show up and sit down. You are the Prize, the Queen!
Do not approach a man first. You can smile, yes. Give him the green light, but that’s it.
“But what if he is scared or shy?”
Scared to do what? To approach the smiling you? What else is he scared of in life? Success takes courage. Let his ‘being scared’ or some other excuse be your guide.
Approaching him first (despite the fact that he chose not to approach you) means lowering standards. A husband material man needs a woman with standards… and you will be lowering your standards.
Every time we chase a man we compromise our standards. It is a very uncomfortable thing to do to chase a man.
P.S. If you feel like you need to talk to someone because your situation is too unique and most of the stuff you read on the internet is too generic and not helpful, then I would personally like to recommend you this affordable online counseling service. You will not be disappointed.
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