Do not be friends with the ex who treated you poorly
Are you wondering whether you should be friends with your ex who treated you poorly?
‘Let’s just be friends’ – is so common among couples who are on the verge of a breakup. And what is also common - is the (desperate?) desire to say ‘yes’ to his offer completely disregarding any possible consequences of such a decision.
If your ex was treating you poorly, then you do not want to be friends with him.
Let’s be honest, this innocent ‘being friends’ thing is just a veil, or perhaps a huge large curtain, behind which your hidden and true ulterior motives will reside. You think that if you stay ‘friends’ with him, then you could keep tabs on his whereabouts and his whole life overall.
At this time, you are not ready to lose him completely and do not want to suffer the pain of the breakup, so staying just friends after breakup seems like a better option to you. Except that you forgot one thing – he treated you poorly, he KNEW about it AND did nothing to clean up his act. The relationship was falling apart, but he chose to do nothing to save it.
Do you know what that means, ladies? It means in his twisted mind neither you nor the relationship with you were that valuable. If he did not want to value the relationship he had with you back then, then why do you think he will suddenly start valuing your newly found friendship now?? And if he did not want to treat you properly when in the relationship, then why do you think he will suddenly start treating you properly now?
When someone is not treating us nice, the only option we have is to walk away. Staying with him is like admitting (to him) that you are OK with such treatment. By letting him know you are OK with such poor treatment you are enabling him to continue with this exact type of treatment.
By saying yes to ‘let’s be friends’ to a man, who treated you with disrespect, is the same as agreeing to continue receiving his BS treatment he has been giving you all this time. Is that what you are looking for to have after becoming ‘just friends’ after a breakup??
For this and only this reason you cannot and do not want to be friends with him. Please have some dignity and self-respect. Deep down you do know that you deserve better. By being friends and keeping him on your radar you will be robbing yourself of an opportunity to have a better relationship with someone else!
Overall, even if he was a good boyfriend, how are you supposed to recover, heal, and move on after the breakup if he keeps continuing to be present in your life? If you do not process your breakup fully, then you will not be available for your next relationship with someone else.
In other words, by staying friends with someone who does not value you anymore, you are sabotaging the possibility of meeting someone special who would appreciate and adore you more.
Rather than moving forward with your life, you are holding on to your past and keep looking backwards.
One interesting observation: the significance of the dilemma ‘should I be friends with my ex’ is equal to the degree of importance of HIM being present in your life. You would not obsess or care less about the dilemma of becoming friends with someone you have zero feelings for, would you?
I say, ladies, give yourself time to process the breakup and don’t be friends with your ex until you are ready… provided he treated you nicely.
P. S. If you feel like you need to talk to someone because your situation is too unique and most of the stuff you read on the internet is too generic and not helpful, then I would personally like to recommend you this affordable online counseling service.
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