Are you ready to date?
Before you go out there and make an emotional mess out of yourself by looking for that perfect match, you may want to stop for a moment and ask yourself whether you are even ready to date in the first place.
Ready to date means being able to handle both outcomes – whether it is rejection or the possibility of ‘happily ever after’. This is correct ladies, dating is not just about relationships, it is about rejections as well.
The minute you put yourself out there you have no idea what may or may not happen, what other people think, feel or do, and in order to navigate such stormy weather of dating you will need to be prepared, you WILL NEED TO BE READY.
Is your self-confidence and self-esteem tied up directly to what others ‘say or think about you’? Do you feel like you need approval and admiration of others to feel better about yourself? Do you feel like you are not enough and having a boyfriend would make you finally feel complete?
You are not ready and cannot date if you think that there is an equal sign between someone’s rejection and your own self-worth. You will be rejected no matter what you say, do or feel. This is because you cannot control everything and everyone, you cannot make people feel or do things they do not want to do, and you CANNOT and SHOULD NOT think of their actions as a direct reflection of what you are and who you are as a person. Because if you do, it means you are not ready to date.
You do not want to rely on the opinion of strangers who happen to cross your life path randomly, and you do not want to think of them as some sort of validation tool that will assist you in figuring out who you are and what it is that you are looking for.
If you do not know what you want and what it is that you are looking for, then you are destined to drift away into the ‘Wonderland’ of an unknown destination. Roaming around looking for something… how are you supposed to find that ‘something’ if you do not know what that ‘something’ is?? If you do not know what you want, then you will not know what you have got. Know what you are looking for and know what you want. If you do not, it means you are not ready to date.
You are not ready to date if you think that having a boyfriend will make your life complete, will turn your emotional life upside-down, and all the uncomfortable, bothersome feelings you have been having so far, will miraculously disappear and get replaced with only happy ones. With this type of mindset you are relying on another human being to make you happy. You will be looking at him as a source of your happiness forgetting that fact, that he is a human being too, and he has a right to be with someone who is happy per se and makes him equally happy too.
If you are looking for him to make you happy, it puts you in an unequal position with you being beneath him. No one is looking to date someone who is beneath them, it is either equal or above. We do not perceive those, who are beneath us, as attractive.
So, in order to be ready to date on an EQUAL LEVEL, you need to be emotionally healthy, balanced, and content. Having emotional issues will make you look less attractive, and you will be prone to a higher number of rejections.
And of course, as a common sense, you are not ready to date if you are still hung up on your ex. If you do not want to date someone who is emotionally tied up with their ex, then why are you offering something like this to them? Your being emotionally hung up on your ex will hinder the creation and development of an emotional attachment with another human being. If your ex still consumes 95% of your mental resources, then there is no way you can build something meaningful with someone else. YOU WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO EVEN IF YOU WANTED TO!
Last but not least, you are not ready to date if the minute you happen to actually find ‘The Right One’, you later decided you do not want to pursue it further because of ‘wrong timing’ or some other bogus reason you have suddenly realized you have. Are you ready to meet ‘The One’ and to go through with everything that it entails? Or do you think you will panic and bail out on him because of what he now represents? Think about it, you do not want to meet and then lose THE ONE because you were not ready. You should be fully ready when he shows up!