Did you just get a low ball offer from a bottom feeder?
Bottom feeders are everywhere. These are people who are deliberately looking to take advantage of someone or something. Low ballers hunt on their vulnerable pray and make a move when they feel like the timing is right to strike a deal.
If you have ever tried to sell a house for example, then you may know what a low ball offer is. It feels terrible and aggravating when someone offers less than the true market value of your property.
Most of the sellers kick these clowns to the curb because their ridiculous offers make no sense, but what about dating and relationships? Can something similar be possible?
A BIG FAT YES!
There are stinking bottom feeders out there hunting on their prey to take advantage of!
Let us admit that due to some unfortunate circumstances in life we may temporary feel more vulnerable than usual, more emotional, and more needy. That’s when con artists step in and work their fake charm on us to get what they want.
The bottom feeder certainly won't say it as it is. Why ruin a chance of succeeding by revealing a hidden agenda? It will be your job to identify the type and kick him to the curb.
You have probably heard it before: fix your emotional issues before dating, make sure all your drama is in the past, and nothing is currently lingering to mess up potential relationships.
Are you currently vulnerable? Are you feeling emotional about a recent breakup? Are you not in the best state of mind? Are you depressed or overwhelmed and looking for someone to rescue you?
If any of this is true, then you are a perfect match for a bottom feeder!
Bottom feeders smell neediness and vulnerability a mile away. These are the sharks that sense blood to feast on a victim as soon as it is available for a grab. They won’t stop at anything and the word ‘compassion' does not exist in their vocabulary.
When we are vulnerable it shows. It shows on our face, through our speech, attitude, and thinking.
Bottom feeder: “what are you doing tonight?”
Needy woman: “Oh, I was going to do my laundry. Ahh…no big deal, will do it tomorrow. Yes, I have time to meet”
Secure woman: “I am busy doing my laundry tonight. Not a good time, sorry.”
It is not difficult to identify a bottom feeder. They cut to the chase, run at a speed of 110 miles per hour during the romance stage (like maybe 2 romantic dinners, one semi-wilted rose and a fake ‘I love you’ and that’s all), and then it is straight to the goodies – sex, sex,sex and zero commitment. Thu-duh! Their mission accomplished!
In the matter of several weeks, if not days, the whole thing becomes about them and their needs ONLY.
When we are vulnerable, emotional, and needy our resistance mechanism is malfunctioning. We are now driving a car with faulty brakes, have basically no control over our fate and the direction we are going and of course, as one would expect it, eventually bump into something highly undesirable.
Those who are in control won’t end up at a place where most people do not want to be. Are you in control? Can you steer the wheel away from something or someone who represents danger?
Those of us who are in control know what BS looks like. The funny thing is that bottom feeders know it too. They know they are full of BS and therefore are very selective of who to target.
Sometimes they make a mistake and that’s where your BS screening radar becomes handy. That’s also the time when your working on past issues (and getting them resolved) is generously rewarded.
One big mistake we make when dealing with a bottom feeder is agreeing to their low-ball offer expecting to eventually get more.
Not Gonna Happen! There won’t be more!
A low-ball offer is the best they can offer. If it is all about non-committal sex, then that’s all you will get. Nothing more! They know what they are after and how to get it. If not you, then some other victim will do.
They got used to rejections because deep down they do know who they are. There is a reason they target vulnerable women. These women are more susceptible to ‘bad deals’ and therefore are easier to get a 'Yes' from. Needy women accept low ball offers from men all the time!
It is only natural to want to be with someone when we are lonely, needy, and slightly depressed. We want to feel love and we want to be loved. We are not looking to con anybody or to take advantage of them. All we want is a respectful, loyal man by our side. Is it really that much to ask?
When a con artist appears on our horizon it feels like we have a chance of something good happening. We of course project our good intentions onto them and imagine what things ‘would be like’. We justify their ugly missteps, ignore painful red flags, and dismiss anything that does not fit into our mold of a happily ever after.
We say “well, no one is perfect. I am in a relationship now with a man who wants to be with me. It is so hard to find somebody these days and even harder to make it work. I think we can make it work. Maybe he is just the kind of a man who is not into talking, sharing his day, or going out. Maybe he is a commitment-phobic and if so I won’t do anything to scare him away. I will be different than the rest of the women he dated”
We basically adjust to their needs entirely ignoring ours. We tip-toe around bottom feeders, let them take advantage of us, and are worried about their well-being - “I hope he is happy with me”.
Our motto is: when they are happy - we are happy.
This is not sustainable long term and a history of similar relationships is the solid proof. Unmet needs, suppressed anger, walking on eggshells, and self-sacrificing bubble up to the top and then explode into a big drama.
A low ball offer is a low ball offer. “Let’s be friends with benefits” means friends with benefits. It does not mean ‘be my girlfriend' or ‘I love you, let’s get married’. Accepting a low ball offer means accepting less. It means accepting less than you deserve and what your actual worth is. You need to know your worth to stand up to these offers.
These are one sided offers that are aimed at meeting the needs of one person only. There is no negotiation present of any kind and no give and take. It involves a ‘take it or leave it’ attitude. In essence, these men are not serious.
They will disappear on you as soon as they hear ‘No’. They do not wrestle with rejectors and won’t bother to spend energy on ‘making it work’. They move on to the next victim asap hoping for an easy ‘Yes’.
By rejecting a low ball offer you lose nothing. All you lost was being in a bad quality relationship. One that wouldn't have worked out anyway.
P.S. If you feel like you need to talk to someone because your situation is too unique and most of the stuff you read on the internet is too generic and not helpful, then I would personally like to recommend you this super affordable professional online counseling service. You will not be disappointed.
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