Sir Is Very Relaxed Because You Keep Taking Care of Everything

Some men have a beautiful faith in life.

Things usually work out, Sir will tell you, and technically he is not wrong. Dinner happens, people get where they need to go, important things are remembered and small disasters remain surprisingly rare.

Sir finds all this very reassuring.

You find it slightly less mysterious, mostly because while he has been developing this charming faith in the universe, you may have spent quite a lot of time reaching trouble before trouble reaches him.

You notice the inconvenience while it is still considering becoming one. You remember what will be needed later. You move something before it falls, check something before it closes and bring the thing nobody thinks they will need until, goodness, somebody suddenly does.

Sir occasionally thinks you worry too much.

Then nothing goes wrong.

Naturally, this does very little to discourage him.

Sir Has Great Faith in the House

Imagine the two of you in a beautiful old house—the sort with tall windows, lovely floors and just enough personality to occasionally make you stop mid-step and think, Hmm.

Sir loves the house.

You love it too, although you have also noticed that the little table near the window has begun developing ideas of its own.

“It’s fine,” says Sir.

Excellent.

You tighten the leg, and the table remains upright for the next six months. Sir spends those same six months feeling rather pleased that the table was, after all, perfectly fine.

A little later, the sitting-room window will not close properly. Nothing urgent, of course. It simply has the air of a window considering future mischief. Sir tries the handle once and decides it seems fine.

You get it sorted before the window becomes a real nuisance, and from then on it closes beautifully. Well... Another worry that, according to Sir, never really needed worrying about.

Sir’s confidence is growing beautifully.

Nothing Keeps Happening

Once you notice the pattern, it becomes rather entertaining.

Little things around the house keep wandering toward the edge of becoming annoying and then, quite mysteriously, changing their minds. A loose hinge tightens. A faint drip disappears. Something fragile moves two inches away from danger shortly before Sir places something heavier beside it.

Nothing happens.

Again.

You have become very good at nothing happening, while Sir remains wonderfully relaxed because life continues giving him so little reason not to be.

Why worry about the table? It never collapsed. Why fuss about the window? It closes beautifully. Why mention the drip? There is no drip.

Goodness.

At this rate, your success is becoming very difficult to defend.

Sir Is Starting to Think He Was Right All Along

The really funny part is that all this smooth living makes Sir even more confident.

See? Things work themselves out.

And because the house remains standing, the doors stay attached and the small details of daily life behave with unexpectedly good manners, Sir sees very little reason to start worrying now.

You, meanwhile, have become rather quick at spotting trouble before it develops a personality of its own. Not because worrying has become a hobby, but because tightening something today is considerably nicer than holding it in your hand tomorrow while Sir looks mildly surprised.

So the little problems keep disappearing before they ever make it as far as him.

Very convenient for Sir.

Every disaster that fails to happen leaves him a little more certain that it was never really coming anyway. Ahh, it is almost elegant.

You prevent the problem, Sir enjoys the peaceful absence of the problem, and before long that peaceful absence becomes his favorite reason for believing you were worrying about nothing.

One has to admire it.

And naturally this arrangement does not stay inside the house. Somehow, your quiet little job of keeping everything running smoothly has followed you everywhere: you check whether the place Sir assumes will be open actually is or you remember the date he is quite certain he will remember later. You also bring the extra something he considers unnecessary and quietly hand it over when he all of a sudden needs it.

Sir accepts these little "rescues" with the peaceful expression of a man whose instincts have once again been proved correct. Of course everything worked out. Look how beautifully everything is working out!

Then You Notice Who Keeps Getting There First

Once you notice the pattern, Sir’s calm begins making perfect sense.

Sir moves through life with touching confidence that unanswered questions will eventually answer themselves, forgotten details will remember themselves and anything truly important will find a way to get his attention.

Very restful.

The trouble is, most things never get that far. By the time a small problem is ready to introduce itself to Sir, you have already spotted it, dealt with it and quietly sent it on its way, leaving him blissfully unaware that anything was ever trying to meet him in the first place.

And this has given him a wonderfully flattering view of life, because things do seem to work out. Dates are remembered, useful things somehow appear exactly when needed, and small disasters have the good manners to lose interest and go elsewhere.

Goodness, even bad luck seems to know better than to bother the man.

No wonder Sir is relaxed. From where he is standing, life has been unusually cooperative, and there he is looking beautifully serene while everything continues behaving itself around him.

Naturally, this has left Sir with great faith that everything will somehow sort itself out.

Everything, meanwhile, seems to have your phone number.