You Found Out His Personality Type and Suddenly Knew Everything

A woman can spend months getting to know a man, or she can persuade him to take a personality test and feel that the matter has been largely settled by lunch.

The results arrive, and they are surprisingly good. They describe his preference for quiet time, his way of making decisions, his particular approach to feelings, and several little habits that had previously seemed to belong exclusively to him.

Good heavens.

He has been explained.

Naturally, this is enormously satisfying, especially when the man in question has been a little difficult to figure out. A few accurate paragraphs can feel like discovering that the mystery was never really a mystery at all; somebody had simply forgotten to provide the paperwork.

And now that the paperwork has arrived, the whole man is looking considerably less mysterious.

He may even be allowed to speak for himself occasionally.

The Results Have Made a Very Good Impression

The first few discoveries are genuinely delightful. His need for solitude makes sense, his preference for planning has an explanation, and that peculiar way he approaches decisions is apparently not peculiar at all.

Wonderful. A little understanding has entered the room.

Unfortunately, a little understanding is rarely where the human imagination likes to stop. Once the results have explained three things beautifully, the remaining thirty-seven begin looking as though they are merely waiting their turn.

What kind of woman suits him? How does he behave when he is in love? What does he need from a relationship? Is he the sort of man who would make a good husband?

The results have barely finished describing his personality, and already they are being asked to comment on the wedding.

The man himself has not yet been informed that his romantic future is apparently available in paragraph six.

The Answer Key Is Becoming Rather Ambitious

The trouble with knowing a few things about someone is that it can make the things you do not know feel almost unnecessary.

A man who loves planning sounds wonderfully dependable, until it turns out that he can organize a holiday six months in advance while remaining gloriously undecided about his love life. Apparently, the ability to reserve a hotel and the ability to make romantic decisions are not always sold as a set.

A man who enjoys deep conversations sounds promising, too, although he may be perfectly happy discussing the meaning of life without wishing to discuss the meaning of your relationship.

He can talk about the universe for four hours.

Ask where this is going, and suddenly the universe has become very large.

The results may still be perfectly accurate. He really does enjoy meaningful conversations. He simply has not agreed that every meaningful conversation must eventually lead to a shared mortgage and Christmas with your parents.

A small but important distinction.

Even the Contradictions Are Getting Explained

Once a description has made a good impression, it can be surprisingly tempting to make every new discovery fit.

He is reserved, except when he is not. He likes structure, except in the parts of life where he apparently prefers to wander around without a map. He is thoughtful, except when he says something so spectacularly unhelpful that you briefly wonder whether the test was taken by another man.

Perhaps he is an unusual version of his type. Perhaps he behaves differently under stress. Perhaps he answered the questions while hungry.

The possibilities are endless.

And the more exceptions the description acquires, the more impressive it begins to look. It can now explain practically anything, including the things it did not explain before.

Very efficient.

Meanwhile, the man continues producing new material, apparently unaware that he has already been thoroughly explained.

The test explained his personality beautifully. Unfortunately, the man continued making his own decisions.