It is all about the energy that you bring into a relationship (how to save a relationship)
Imagine being on a date with a fantastic guy, i.e. someone who knows all the right words and makes all the right moves; someone who is confident, secure, funny, and easy-going.
And now, just for the sake of contrast, imagine being on a date with a meh guy. Someone, who is insecure, cannot carry on a conversation, self-conscious, suspicious of your intentions, and just plain impossible to be around. Kind of like a bluh date with a bluh guy...
And of course, when it happens, all you think is “Uh-Oh, I've got to get out of here”. Under some false pretense, you cut the insipid date short and get the hell out of there.
I do not blame you!
Now, imagine if the above two guys were actually the same person.
How can that be possible, you ask? That’s a real head-scratcher, isn’t it??
Well, ladies, it can be very possible. As a matter of fact, it happens all the time in the dating world! And the sad part of it? Once a ‘great’ person turns into a ‘meh’ one it is basically over.
Let’s talk about the energy we bring into a relationship
If you are currently in a relationship, how do you think your man feels about it? What does he think about your relationship overall and what is he getting out of it? Why is he with you and what makes him stay? With a bunch of other attractive women out there, why is he choosing to stay with you every day? Why??
These are the questions that we never ask ourselves, but maybe we should?
Sometimes it is just easier to talk about it with your man, but in case your relationship is still new or if discussing these things does not feel comfortable, we could try to take a look at it together.
Think of yourself now and back then when you just met. Are you a different person now than who you were back then?
The beginnings are always easy and fun. We do not dwell on their whereabouts, we feel secure and confident, we do not obsess over them not calling us every day or not seeing them every weekend.
We certainly do not nag, do not spy on them on social media (well, maybe a little), and do not play the role of a prematurely committed girlfriend or an ‘old faithful wife’.
We are free and independent. We feel OK, we are OK, and it shows. And guess what? They see it in us! They sense it!
That’s the energy that we bring into a new relationship at that time. That’s the energy that makes them want to see us more, to get to know us better, to give us flowers and text us non-stop. That’s the energy that draws them towards us and makes them have special feelings.
I call it positive energy.
Now, let’s take a look at the present. What is happening now?
Are you feeling insecure most of the time and it shows? Are you nagging them too much? Are you demanding to know why they did not call? Are you snooping through their phone, fighting a lot, crying, and demanding respect?
How about them? Are they avoiding you? Are they feeding you with BS excuses and seem to be always busy? Are they not there for you like they used to?
If that’s the energy that is currently present in your relationship – I call it negative energy – then you have your answers.
The examples at the very beginning of the article demonstrate how our own behavior, attitudes, and hang-ups can affect the behavior and feelings of other people towards us.
We are always focused on ourselves and are almost never aware of how our own deeds affect the feelings of other people. What we do, say, and wear plays a big role in how we are being perceived by others. Think about it!
I know a woman who was trying her best not to fight with her new man. Everything was great until one day when she had ‘to finally get it off her chest’. Being feisty and confrontational by nature, she eventually started picking on him every day! The poor guy eventually left.
I bet you know someone like that too. You probably know a couple who were so in love with each other at first, but then broke up after a short period of time. Where did all that ‘lovey-dovey’ go? It became ‘I hate you’!
When positivity in a relationship gets replaced with fights, stress, and confrontation, it is never the same anymore. A comfortable relationship turns into an uncomfortable one, and when that happens – that’s it. The end of good times. The end of a happy and beautiful dream.
Who wants to be in an uncomfortable relationship? Who wants to feel stressed out, disrespected, unloved, and miserable?
I do not, and I bet you do not either. Your man is a human being too and I bet his answer would be the same!
If you think about it, it is a simple recipe to prevent a good relationship from deterioration. All we have to do is:
~ continue treating them with respect
~ give them attention when needed
~ be nice, polite, and courteous (just like in the beginning!)
~ refrain from being controlling, nosy, and insecure
~ make an effort to resolve issues in a non-confrontational manner
~ be loving and caring
~ be mindful of our appearance
~ be POSITIVE
~ and just do all we can to remain that exact dream-woman they met a long time ago and I guarantee you they will never leave.
Is it easy?
Is it worth it?
You decide. It is up to you to decide if your man and the relationship are worth this effort.
Since 99.99% of women (and people in general) lack in the self-awareness department, this skill will absolutely make you stand out among other women. He will notice the change. He will sense the difference! He will love you more!
P.S. if you feel like you need to talk to someone because your situation is too unique and most of the stuff you read on the internet is too generic and not helpful, then I would personally like to recommend you this affordable online counseling service. You will not be disappointed.
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