Bad boys vs. nice guys – if you find nice guys boring, then you need to read this
Some women find nice guys boring. Are you one of those women? Do you find nice guys boring and unexciting? Do you feel like they are lacking in the fireworks department and are better suited for singing peaceful and boring lullabies in nursing homes?
If you do feel this way, then I hope what you read next will completely change your attitude. You may even feel stupid after all… and it is OK! I went through this myself too.
Believe it or not, but not liking people who are nice to you is a psychological issue that needs to be corrected. You may not want to hear it, but it is the truth.
I’ll walk you through some interesting examples that will hopefully open your eyes and reprogram your brain. I hope that after reading this article your attitude towards nice gentlemen will change FOREVER.
Let us imagine the following scenario: you are traveling by a car a long distance and it is time to find some place to eat and stay overnight.
Now, here is the question for you: would you rather pick a shady restaurant with dirty bathrooms, no toilet paper, low water pressure in a faucet, greasy tables, rude waitresses, poorly prepared food that stinks like God knows what and a bunch of flies flying around OR a lovely place with friendly staff, hot delicious meals, gorgeous ambiance and cozy atmosphere?
I have absolutely no doubt that the nice place would win your vote.
May I ask WHY?
Stupid question, right?
Well, not so fast. Here are the typical answers: because the shady place would not feel comfortable, because I deserve something better than that, because only a crazy person would pick a disgusting place over a nice one.
OK, moving forward for now.
Now it is getting dark and it is time to adjourn your long-distance journey by picking some place to sleep.
Another question for you: would you rather stay in a shabby motel with bed bugs, wet cold sheets, loud music playing all night, zero help from front desk to address the issue and blackish bananas for a continental breakfast next morning, or a lovely place with updated showers, fragrant towels, nicely decorated rooms, super comfy beds and super-helpful staff that makes you feel like a Queen? Like you matter?
No one wants to stay in crappy places (unless totally broke), eat crappy food, feel uncomfortable, be treated poorly and feel aggravated over the whole experience and yet some women still pick poor quality men – aka bad boys - to experience the exact same things!
Why, oh why are they doing it to themselves?
Bed boys are poor quality men who represent goods and services of poor quality.
If you love yourself enough not to pick crappy motels and poor quality places to eat, then you should still love yourself enough to not pick poor quality people. That includes bad boys that act like messed up jerks. How is it supposed to work with them, anyway??
Nice guys represent 5 star services and high quality goods. They treat you like you deserve and should be treated. They treat you as a customer of a high value which - let us admit it – feels very good (remember that place where you were treated like you matter?)
There is a reason self-respecting people come back to places with good services and abandon bad ones. No one wants to be treated like shit. It is just basic human nature.
Bad boys, aka men of poor quality, make women feel like shit. If you are currently involved with a bad boy, do you still insist on continuing this depressing experience? Maybe it is time to check out and abandon the crappy place for good? A crappy place is a crappy place. People do not get treated nicely there.
The examples above demonstrate how our own sense of self-value and self-preservation plays a role in what we pick and what to stay away from. When it comes to services and goods we expect basic respect and satisfying quality. We expect to be treated right. We deserve to be treated right.
Nice men are not ‘nice men’ per se. These are the men who treat us right. They are just people in our life who respect and value us as the Special Human Being that we are. Nothing is complicated here, really, and definitely not boring. It is natural. It is the way it’s supposed to be!
Feeling special is not boring. Being treated nice is not boring. Being valued and being listened to is not boring. I think bad boys are boring. They may be exciting at first, but then it gets old pretty quickly. And boring. Nothing new. Except that we feel ill from their BS and thoughtless stunts.
Dealing with a poor quality man is the same as:
~ continuing to eat poor quality food, and then suffering from food poisoning day in and day out
~ being constantly subjected to a rude and unfair customer service and feeling aggravated over it
~ coming back to the same crappy place and feeling disappointed/stressed/depressed and anxious over the whole experience
How is that exciting?? I think this is terrible. A total attraction killer for sure.
Sometimes we make mistakes. Sometimes dishonest businesses run dishonest ads. Victims end up with hidden fees and 50% of what was promised. Bad boys are nothing but bright dishonest ads advertising love, passion, and god knows what else to get some women hooked.
It is our job to recognize a COUNTERFEIT. It is our job to watch our emotional wallet. We do not want to pay for poor quality treatment losing our sense of well-being, to pay with shattered health, crocodile tears, bitter disappointment, never ending anxiety, destroyed self-esteem and added wrinkles due to stress over some idiot.
You are the Special Human Being that you are and deserve to be treated right.
P.S. If you feel like you need to talk to someone because your situation is too unique and most of the stuff you read on the internet is too generic and not helpful, then I would personally like to recommend you this super affordable online counseling service. You will not be disappointed.
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