Understanding males and females from... an alien's perspective

Do you ever have strange thoughts? Like, for example, if aliens were to discover our civilization how strange everything would look to them? I think, they wouldn’t be able to explain a lot if things, especially the behavior of humans. Males and Females.

I figured, if aliens had the capacity to conduct an experiment to learn more about the interactions between Males and Females they would still fail to comprehend ‘how things work’. They would probably be able to explain it all on a logical or logistical level, but they would never understand the emotional component of it.

So, here we are, having a chance to observe an imaginary experiment conducted by an alien who is desperate to figure out how things work between Males and Females. That alien aside, what’s in it for you? As a human you will see how mother nature manipulates all of it. In other words – we are victims of biology and instincts, and we are not in control of them.

The very starting point of an experiment would be putting  2 types of subjects – aka Males and Females – into a confined area. It could be a room,  a large stadium, or perhaps even a village or a city. It does not matter. We are putting them in the area initially separated from each other.

Image 1 shows what it looks like. Red dots are females and blue dots are males. They are placed on opposite sides of the area.

Let’s leave them be and come back 1 week later. Let’s see what happens next.

One week later. Do you see something interesting – image 2?

What the alien sees: There is definitely some ‘movement’ going on, some sort of chemical reaction where blue dots got mixed up with red dots.

What we as humans see: We see it as a natural progression of interaction between humans, especially Males and Females. The mixed area represents flirting and ‘get to know you’ phases.

Those are the most outgoing and the most bold  (perhaps even promiscuous) subjects who take the first steps to initiate contact with the opposite sex.

Now, let’s go back 1 month later and see what happens next. Take a look at the image 3.

Wow! See something interesting?

What the alien sees: He is definitely fascinated. He sees a progression of  ‘movement’ that resembles a chemical reaction.  It is like pouring a glass of colored water into a container with clean one. Eventually those two get mixed up. If you took a chemistry class in high school, then you know exactly what I am talking about. If you do not have that background then you would still agree that Image 3 does look like there is a chemical reaction going on.

What we as humans see: Of course we do not see it the way the alien does. As time goes on males and females (in that contained area) get to know each other better and become more comfortable around each other. As a spoiler alert – I cannot wait for you to see the next image!

Let’s leave them be for another month or so and then come back to see what happens.

Image 4 – see something even MORE interesting?

Yep, there are some ‘pairs’ formed of red and blue dots.

What the alien sees: Since he does not have human’s instincts all he sees now is that the ‘chemical reaction’ has progressed to the next level. He now sees something strange: besides things being mixed up all over he now sees strange ‘pairs’ of dots. Blue and Red.  A lot of them actually. He now wonders what the heck that means.

What we as humans see: To us it is just people who fell in love. When a woman and man fall in love they become a couple. Those ‘pairs’ are nothing but couples – boyfriends and girlfriends or husbands and wives. So simple to understand. They are together now and that explains the pairs of a red and blue dots.

At this point let’s leave them be for a whole year. Any guesses what happens next?

One year later – image 5.

See those teeny-tiny NEW dots attached to each pair formerly seeing on img 4? Do you know what they are??

What the alien sees: He is scratching his head in disbelieve and fascination. What he sees now does not make any sense. He just discovered that multiple pairs of 2 dots (red and blue)… stopped looking like pairs. There are total of 3 of them now!

How did a pair of two dots became a unit of 3 dots? And there are a lot of such units now which tells him that the original amount of dots he placed into the confined area is not equal to that amount anymore. There are more, way way more of them. Now he feels like he has some explaining to do. How in the world did 2 dots turn into 3??

What we as humans see: Gee! It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that couples in love sleep together, get pregnant, and have babies. Those teeny-tiny dots are children! And if we were to leave them be for some more years, there would be even more children (i.e. small teeny-tiny dots).  We do not really think about it, but if you were an alien, wouldn’t it look weird?

Of course we could continue with the experiment and come back to it years later. The teeny-tiny dots would become adults and repeat the same steps outlined in images 1 to 5. The ‘older’ dots would stop moving (in human language it is called death) and would ‘disappear’ from the reproduction scene.

There would also be breakups of pairs (relationship breakups) and the alien would have difficulty figuring out why some pairs last longer than others.

Now, this is not the end of the experiment. If the alien does not have humans instincts, it does not mean he cannot think logically or he is not curious. For the sake of morbid curiosity he now decides to separate those pairs. He wants to see what happens!

He now took all those pairs and forcefully separated them. The image 6 shows what it looks like.


Only ten seconds later and here we are – the pairs are back together, as they used to be! Now the alien has more explaining to do and needs to figure out what kind of mysterious force has pulled them back to each other. What explains this? Why did they come back to being a pair again?

To us, humans, it makes sense. Lovers do not like to be separated and so when they have a chance they stay together. This is exactly what happened! Given the chance, they found each other in the confined area and got happily reunited. Image 7.

The alien must be a very mean one because now he decides to take one step further. He now wants to separate the pairs again and erect a barrier between them. He thinks it is just an experiment but to us, the humans, it is a very mean and cruel thing to do.

Here is what the alien did: separated pairs by creating a barrier - image 8


What he sees now confirms his logical conclusion – there is a definitely some very strong force between these dots. It forces them to be together no matter what.  See the dots aligned by that barrier – Image 9? It does look indeed like the dots are attracted to each other by some force. Should he call it gravity? What is this??

To us humans it is nothing but the sense of aggravation steaming from separation from a loved one. The dots along both sides of the barrier are the unhappy Males and Females who are in love and who are dying to reunite with each other. They know that they are separated by just that stupid barrier and now are trying to figure out how to overcome it.

If the alien were to continue with this experiment he would notice the violent nature of mostly blue dots DESTROYING the barrier to reunite with their original red dots. He would come to the realization that the planet Earth is populated with red and blue dots (i.e. Males and Females) that are attracted to each other by some very strong force (i.e. Love and reproduction instinct). This force promotes forming of couples and then teeny-tiny dots (i.e. children) which results in multiplication of the original dots.

We as humans are all victims of this scenario. We want to date, we want to be loved, we crave physical intimacy with our loved ones... We also get pregnant and have babies. We think we are in control of all this but a closer look at the bigger picture shows that we are NOT. We are victims of biological ‘rules’ that are being bestowed upon us time and time again. For centuries. That’s how our human kind keeps existing and that’s what keeps us from becoming extinct.

Yes, I know, it was a very strange article… but I think it makes sense. We just do not think like this. At least most of us don't. I do. Sometimes. Hope you liked it.

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