The No Contact rule

Are you familiar with the No Contact rule? Basically, the No Contact rule states that in case you get dumped, in order to bring him back you should cease all communication between the two of you, therefore the No Contact rule.

According to multiple articles on the internet, the No Contact rule is supposed to play magic on your broken relationship - to make him regret his decision and run back to you.

Let’s take a closer look at this ‘rule’: so, your relationship has deteriorated to the point where in order to make him love you again you had to eliminate communication. Does it make any sense to you? I don't think it does!

This rule does not work and here is why – if a relationship has deteriorated to the point of an actual breakup, getting back together again (no matter by what means) is not going to accomplish anything from a relationship perspective. If someone in a relationship is unhappy and decides to leave, there is SOMETHING in the relationship that requires serious work to continue the relationship.

Not contacting him after breaking up is good for your recovery process only. The less you see or hear from him, the faster you will get on with your life. But if you naively think that zero contact will bring you both together then think again – you will face the same issue that destroyed your relationship in the first place; and it will always be there UNLESS you both, as a couple, decide to work on it.

Your doing the No Contact rule on him may catch him off guard, make him curious and surprised, but in some cases it will also make him relieved. Those, who want to leave you for good, do just that – leave you for good. Your leaving them alone will earn their respect and relieve anxieties about being stalked. It is called a ‘clean break’.

In case they make an attempt to contact you, listen to what they say: are they willing to work on the relationship and address the issues? Are they willing to listen and compromise? Do they feel sorry for what they did? What is the plan from now on?

If he is not willing to address the issues and problems that separated you in the first place, then you are wasting your time. Contact or No Contact is not going to change what has destroyed your relationship in the first place.

At the end of the day I want you to please always remember that you deserve to be loved without resorting to some artificial, man-made rules, tricks, and manipulations. True love does not work this way. Every time when YOU ARE FORCED TO MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU MORE should be your reminder that there is something very wrong with the relationship.

Again, the No Contact rule is good for only one and one purpose – to forget and move on. When it is time to move on, it is time to move on. If you need more support on letting go and moving on, you may also like these articles - Post breakup: does he miss me?, The No Contact rule - how to stay strong and Getting closure and moving on.

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