How to break up with a needy psycho boyfriend

Are you stuck in a relationship with a needy boyfriend? Are you stuck in a relationship you do not want to continue, but are afraid or have difficulties to end? Perhaps you told them ‘no’ several times, tried to explain how you feel, but the end result was still the same – refusal to let you go?

And now, because of their refusal to leave you alone, you feel hopeless and helpless and wondering if this unstable needy psycho man will ever disappear from your life for good.

If breaking up with them ‘traditionally’ did not work, then the next option in this situation would be to make them break up with YOU. In essence, the trick is you have to make them want to leave you.

How do you get a needy guy to want to break up with you?

In order to make him want to break with you, you need to figure out two things 1) what it is that he is getting from the relationship with you and 2) his ultimate deal breakers.

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Every relationship is different and therefore requires a personalized approach. And, although there are a whole bunch of articles on the internet about how to break up with a needy psycho boyfriend, my problem with these articles is that they are too generic and may not apply to everyone.

My goal is to help you develop a strategy that will work personally for you.

Let’s help you to figure out the #1 point – what it is that he is getting from the relationship with you that ultimately keeps him hooked

By this time you should know your clingy guy very well and know what it possibly could be. Do not worry if you are not sure. There could be several great things he is addicted to.

Listed below are the very possible and likely examples:

~ having regular sex (a biggie one!)
~ treating them REALLY nice (translation – massaging their ego)
~ being a very caring selfless girlfriend (translation – being a gravy train of freebies)
~ being uncomplicated (translation – they think you are a perfect match)

Now, once you know what those possible benefits are, start working on cutting off the supply. Do not do it meanly, though. Acting calm and collected will work the best.

To continue with the above examples, listed below is the recommended course of actions:

~ having regular sex.

Start making excuses (gradually) as to why you are not in the mood. Say you are in your period, that you are tired, that you have a headache, that your stomach bothers you, or that you just do not feel like it. When sex happens act very bored and unexcited.

When they make a comment about the change, just tell them that you feel like something has changed between you two. Tell them that people change and feelings change and ‘one never knows what to expect’ and that ‘nothing lasts forever’. Be vague and uncommitted.

If possible, try not to shower before sex, do not shave your legs, pickup your buzzing phone during the deed (“Oh gosh, I need to get this one, sorry”), do not wear makeup, comment on their performance and act like you would rather be somewhere else. Never be in the mood!

~ treating them REALLY nice (translation – massaging their ego)

Cut off all compliments and adoration. Interrupt when they talk, do not ask questions about their life and talk mostly about yourself. We girls like talking about ourselves, so pulling it off should not be difficult.

Make sure your conversations are about shopping, lipsticks, hair color, makeup application techniques, shoes, celebrities, feelings and dramas of your girlfriends.

Guys hate female talk. Their brains are not wired to comprehend it. To them these convos sound as exciting as a bucket of rocks.

~ being a very caring selfless girlfriend (translation – being a gravy train of freebies)

As in the example above, shift the entire focus onto yourself. Cut off all caring, understanding, and emotional support. When they ask what is wrong, just tell them that you have been feeling depressed lately. Become selfish.

~ being uncomplicated (translation – they think you are a perfect match)

Oh hell, it is time to become ‘complicated’! Start criticizing their choices (doing so gently will sting them the most), do not return their phone calls or return with a great deal of delay. Nag about things they do wrong and have lengthy conversations about it for days. Act like you cannot move on from what they did 1 week or 1 month ago. Keep bringing this up again and again until they explode.

Once the storm calms down, bring up the subject again. Keep dwelling and obsessing over what they did or said 2 weeks ago and their overall behavior. Bring up your past traumas, conflicts, and issues. Whether on the phone or in person – keep bringing this up. Become super negative.

If you want to be really mean – criticize everything they do for you. Express dissatisfaction over gifts, restaurant choices, disgusting dinners, and helpful gestures “My girlfriend’s boyfriend Eric can do it so much better” – is the right attitude. Do not forget to roll your eyes when needed.

This kind of behavior will make them run for the hills. Guaranteed. It will become extremely uncomfortable, unsatisfying and stressful for them to be in your company. With all these obsessive complaints they may not want to talk to you for days!

Try this:

“Remember when we were taking a walk in the park 2 years ago and you said this and that? You do not remember?! Oh my god! I still do and I have troubles getting over it. Why would you say that and more importantly, how could you forget?! I cannot believe you could do something like this to me! No man has ever done this to me, EVER. I cannot get over it and I am afraid I never will. This just makes things so complicated. I think we both need to see a counselor. I cannot go on like this. It hurts me big time and... you do not even remember it. Wow. This is so disappointing. Why are you not saying anything? Let’s meet later tonight to talk about it. Also, there are other issues that I think we need to discuss. I just cannot keep it to myself anymore”

I say, keep going until they disappear for good. That may take a while, but please keep going. Your goal is to cut off the supply of whatever they got addicted to.

And now let’s figure out point #2 – their ultimate deal-breakers

Do you know what drives them absolutely nuts? Do you know what they have a low tolerance for?

Let me give you some helpful hints.

In order for relationships to work we have to compromise. Now, think of what you had to compromise with to make this relationship work. Maybe it is your looks, maybe it is your dressing style, maybe it is your behavior, habits, communication or life style. Did you have to deny a part of yourself in some way to be with him?

If so, that’s your clue.

Did you have to be on a starving diet ‘because he likes slim women’? If so, stop pleasing his tastes and eat normally. Did you have to dye your hair because ‘he likes blondes’? If so, then go back to your natural hair. If he hates animals and hair in the bed, then start having your dog in the bed sleeping by your feet every night again. If you were worried about speaking up, now start rocking the boat.

Stop denying yourself and do what you please. It won’t take him too long to realize that things are not working out.

Another clue would be the rules you both stick to when at his or your place. Is he a neat freak? Stop picking up after yourself and make the whole house look like it was slammed by a tornado. Every Single Day should be your tornado day. Does he like ‘alone’ time? Stay at his place and crowd him non-stop. THAT will make him sick because introverts need ‘alone’ time to recharge.

Even if he is not an introvert overstaying at their place will still push them over the edge. Who likes guests who just won’t freaking leave??!

Do you have a friend he particularly dislikes? Invite her over to your place and let him enjoy the evening - “You are welcome to stay, but I have Jennifer coming over tonight again. I know it is game night, but we would like to watch a fashion show. You are welcome to watch with us if you want”

After several times like this he won’t either invite you to his place nor want to stay at yours.

Other bothersome behaviors that repel men: saying that you could be pregnant and if so, would like to get married asap, calling many times a day, talking about your feelings and demanding to talk about theirs, yelling and crying at the same time, monitoring their whereabouts and demanding to report on where they are, blaming them for not giving you enough time, nagging and complaining, acting jealous or being suspicious for no reason, talking non-stop.

Do not feel sorry dumping the guy. Breaking up the normal way – "hey, it is not working out" – works with normal people. Fifth degree clingers are not normal people and therefore normal breakup rules do not apply to them. They are selfish, arrogant egomaniacs who won’t accept rejection, are narcissists, emotional vampires, and emotionally/mentally unstable people who won’t accept the reality of life.

They cling to another human being in search of approval and happiness... sort of like a leech who feeds off its host to stay alive. It does not know how to be on its own and frankly, does not care to know... Like this is your responsibility now to take care of their well-being.

They refused to respect your plea to end the relationship and your demands to leave you alone. They are a selfish poor little man who needs professional help to realize that the entire world does not revolve around their self-centered wishes, and that being rejected is a normal part of one’s life.

P.S. If you feel like you need to talk to someone because your situation is too unique and most of the stuff you read on the internet is too generic and not helpful, then I would personally like to recommend you this super affordable online counseling service. You will not be disappointed.

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