You Broke Up With Him, but Sir Has Packed for Both of You

Breaking up with a man who is certain you will change your mind can feel rather like canceling one of those exotic holidays you once imagined taking together someday. Sir, meanwhile, is in magnificent denial. He has chosen one of those imaginary trips and begun packing for both of you.

The future is gone, the holiday is never going to happen, and Sir is packing anyway.

Not desperately, mind you. That would suggest uncertainty. He is folding shirts with the serene confidence of a man who believes you are currently having a moment and will be joining him as soon as you have finished having it.

The suitcase is open, the shirts are going in, and as far as Sir is concerned, this holiday is still very much happening.

Sir Has Checked the Weather

At first, the optimism is almost charming.

He mentions that it will be warm during the day but cooler in the evenings, has already found the charger and thinks you should probably leave early because traffic can be dreadful.

You remind him that you are no longer going anywhere together.

Of course he knows. Anyway, he has packed the blue shirt.

This is where denial begins showing rather impressive stamina.

You have ended the relationship, but Sir is still cheerfully wandering around inside the future that used to belong to it. He has thoughts about the imaginary hotel, remembers the restaurant you might have tried and wonders whether the two of you would have preferred a little boat excursion or somewhere lovely for lunch.

You, meanwhile, are several emotional countries away wondering why anyone is discussing dinner reservations.

The holiday never existed, yet Sir would still rather like to know whether you prefer the terrace.

And because he is quite certain that another day or two will bring you back around, there seems no reason to stop packing. You will calm down, reconsider and eventually remember how lovely the imaginary hotel looked.

Sir has brought sunscreen.

Then He Starts Packing for You

Packing for himself was already optimistic. Packing for you takes the whole thing somewhere rather magnificent.

He leaves room in the larger suitcase, reminds you about your passport and mentions that you will probably want something warmer for dinner. At one point, he may even ask whether you are taking the white dress.

Excuse me?

You have ended the relationship, and the gentleman is now concerned about your evening wardrobe on a holiday neither of you is taking.

From a little farther away, the picture is difficult not to admire. You have canceled the entire future, while Sir is standing over an open suitcase wondering whether two pairs of shoes will be enough.

And it is not that he failed to hear you. Oh, he heard you perfectly well.

He simply assumes this breakup is one of those temporary ideas you will soon find slightly embarrassing.

Any minute now, you will emerge from this strange phase, see the luggage waiting, remember how attractive he is in vacation clothes and be enormously relieved that someone carried on packing while you were busy ending the relationship.

He has even left room for your toiletries.

Very thoughtful.

Madam Is Not Coming

Eventually, though, the luggage begins making his optimism a little difficult to maintain.

His suitcases are ready. Yours remain entirely imaginary.

No passport appears beside the door, no dresses materialize, and you have shown almost no interest in whether the hotel serves breakfast until eleven. Sir, however, carries on as though you are merely running late.

Perhaps he mentions the departure time again. Perhaps he assures you there is plenty of room for your things. He may even suggest that you can finish packing later, which is wonderfully generous considering Madam has no intention of starting.

And after a while, even magnificent denial has to look at the empty suitcase.

Sir has prepared beautifully for a trip that exists entirely in his own luggage. The weather may be perfect, the terrace may be delightful and the blue shirt may look marvelous.

But Madam has canceled the future.

Sir simply packed for the woman he was certain would change her mind.