How do you know if they are for real, are actually meaning what they say, and will eventually commit?

How do you know if they are for real, are actually meaning what they say, and will eventually commit?

You don’t. At least in the beginning. This, unfortunately, is the case where only time will eventually tell.

With this being said, however, it does not mean that months and years should be wasted to get to the truth. There is a subtle tell-tale sign of them not being serious. This sign is incredibly subtle, but if you pay attention you will know!

If you are dating someone who won’t commit (or feeds you with promises to commit in the future), then it is very likely that he belongs to one of these two categories:

1. He is not serious about you

2. He ‘thinks’ he is serious about you and he ‘thinks’ that he wants to commit, but… deep down he is not 100% sure.

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The type under the second category is more dangerous because there is a huge chance of him not knowing what he wants. This results in a lot of flip-flopping and a ton of mixed messages on top of countless “I love you”-s. That’s a mixed bag of confusion for sure!

If they do not know if they want to commit, then how are you supposed to know?? You don’t!

That’s when looking into this subtle clue becomes handy. What you are about to find out is based on the real experiences of real women. Learn the truth before it hits you like a ton of bricks years later. Wasted years!

A subtle but sure sign that your self-proclaimed boyfriend is not serious and will not commit

Does he keep postponing your life together because of some ongoing issue? This is a major red flag and here is why: the issue is just a reason not to commit. Once that issue is gone, rest assured another one will come up.

This one single excuse works very well, especially with understanding, willing to wait and patient women.

Examples of issues (aka excuses)

“I have a low paying job, and as soon as I find a better job we will…. (insert his promise here)”

“I have an upcoming surgery. After that, I have a recovery period to go through”

“Before we take that step, I have a lot of logistical stuff to take care of. Please be patient”

Your situation is unique, of course, BUT looking back at your current relationship, can you see this pattern? Does he have multiple issues going on and on and on forcing you to wait, wait, and wait?

Those could be legitimate issues, of course. The point is how many of them and for how long has it been going on. At the end of the day, it is not about the issue per se. It is about a bunch of issues stacked up on top of each other. A bunch of issues that pop up on top of each other like mushrooms after the rain and it never ends!

There is always this endless string of issues, constant problems, constant obstacles, and constant excuses.

And here comes the biggest excuse of all, which you have probably heard a 100 times. Ready?

“This is such wrong timing, my dear. I love you so much! Thank you for being understanding”

The truth is, that with this kind of man, there will NEVER be a good time.

No matter how helpful you are, understanding and supportive, there will never be a good time. It is always the wrong time.

You know why?

Because they do not want what you want. It is that simple. Being patient, giving, self-sacrificing will not work. Wake up! It is not about you. It is about them not wanting to commit!

If the above describes his behavior here is what you can do to make it all crystal clear for you.

Make a list of issues (aka excuses) that prevent him from taking the next step. Take a look at those issues and answer this: “Is this something that a committed/married couple could handle too? Is this something they could overcome together?”

If the answer is ‘yes’ then you have your answer.

There is nothing in this world a loving couple could not go through together. Be it a health issue, money issue, emotional problems, family issues, anything… a loving couple will take on the challenge and do all it can to overcome it *TOGETHER*

Yes, you could do or go through all of that stuff together, you see? You may actually know some couples who already do!

I suggest you talk to him about it. Nothing may come out of it, but at least you will know where you stand.

At this point, you may want to stop being so understanding and see less of him. Let him be busy with his never-ending issues. I bet when the right woman comes along, the issues suddenly won’t matter. There will be a ring, commitment, a house, and a baby. Mark my words because this is exactly what will happen. The right woman will get it all. Unfortunately, he does not think you are THAT woman.

Make him think that you are! – read this article How to make him marry you

P.S. If you feel like you need to talk to someone because your situation is too unique and most of the stuff you read on the internet is too generic and not helpful, then I would personally like to recommend you this affordable online counseling service. You will not be disappointed.

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