Dumping a loser – how it works
If you have a loser on your hands and are contemplating to get rid of him, do not assume it will be that easy. Once they are attached to your kindness, forgiveness, patience, money, and a house they are in it forever. Even the biggest and dirtiest broom on this planet will have troubles kicking them out!
By the way, when in a relationship with a loser, there is no need to be insecure. They may misbehave or do stupid things, but they will never have the guts to dump you. That would be your job.
There are two types of losers: nice ones and not so nice ones.
The nice ones are very nice guys per se, but this is where it all ends. For some sad reasons these super nice men can’t satisfy many of your needs.
A very good friend of mine is currently dating such a guy. God knows where she picked him up lol. He does not have a steady job and therefore no steady income, lives in her house and eats her food. Can you imagine that? On top of that, she cleans after him and does his laundry.
“But he treats me so nice! – she gushes – every evening I come home from work he takes off my shoes!”
These kinds of losers can be very difficult to dump because despite being a loser in life they are very good at treating our hearts. They reach deeply into the core, the most vulnerable place of ours, and make us feel safe, appreciated, loved and super special.
They are a therapist, a counselor, an obedient slave, and a devoted friend all in one.
And… the ones you take care of and support financially. Ahhh…
I personally do not get how some females could feel attraction to such males. Biologically we are drawn to providers, someone stronger than us, someone we can rely on during difficult times.
If you were to lose your job tomorrow, what would happen to your relationship?? I say, try to be romantic when jobless and hungry and see how it works. Would he pick up the slack?
If being in a relationship with a nice loser is draining, try living with a not nice one.
These won’t just drain you. They will damage you beyond repair!
You see, there are losers out there who despite a million skeletons in the closet still believe they are a great catch.
Perhaps they possess above average looks, have an above average penis size, or are skilled at pickups and therefore identify themselves with these ‘valuable assets’ and expect all women to treat them accordingly.
I have personally known such a jerk: divorced 3 times, 5 children by 3 different women, bankrupt with no car and a HUGE HUGE HUGE ego.
Because of them acting like some sort of ‘prize’, some of us may have difficulty resisting the confident, self-righteous loser-jerk that they are.
Unlike the nice losers, these have multiple excuses as to why things are the way they are. Rest assured, it is never their fault! It is always somebody else who took away an opportunity from them, stole their future, destroyed their dreams, and scarred them permanently and forever.
As an example, those who change jobs all the time or keep getting fired will always blame their boss. Those who cannot maintain long-term relationships will blame it on women. And, of course, if something goes wrong in your relationship you will be the one to blame too.
They are angry at the whole world and especially at women. That low grade hostility you sensed in the beginning? Let it be your clue…
Why these jerks are so hard to dump? Because of projected perceived value.
Dominance, disobedience, not willing to cooperate, temper-tantrums etc – are typical traits of an Alpha-male… except loser men are not Alpha-males.
In this case it is rather a cover-up of inadequacy and deep personal issues related to a low self-esteem.
Overall, you may want to get your expectations right with these men. Since they are losers, you may not want to expect anything beyond their capabilities.
You cannot really be mad at them for something that has been there for the entire duration of your relationship, and to blame them or demand change.
You cannot expect them to behave out of character, to become ‘like your successful uncle Matt’, or to treat you differently aka better.
In essence, when they show you who they are – believe them. It is not something that they are going through temporarily; it is not something that eventually will go away. Whatever that something that makes them a loser is there to stay permanently.
And now, back to the problem of dumping these men.
As I have mentioned previously, these fruit cakes could be difficult to dispose of.
Dumping a loser is the most annoying and aggravating thing you will ever have to do in your life time.
Unlike well-developed, mature, emotionally stable and reasonably successful men who understand AND respect the meaning of ‘no’, these clowns do not get it.
And how could they?
To them you are a living proof that they ‘still go it’. Take away a daily dose of a self-esteem booster and an ego massage, take away the sense of security, shatter their fragile self-esteem, poke through an inflated balloon of self-ego and self-worth, reject them entirely and see what happens.
They won’t let you go that easily and let me remind you one more time – if you are in a relationship with a loser it's them, not you, who should be worried.
Here is how it works with men:
Imagine a hierarchy pyramid with top achievers/alpha males at the top, passive and nice men in the middle and bottom feeders / losers at the bottom. Unlike us females, competitive male species are aware of this hierarchy. It is pure biology.
To every man, whether he admits it or not, being in a relationship with a woman signifies ‘status’ and therefore a higher position on the pyramid.
“I am worthy enough for a female to stick with me”. Being in a relationship with you makes them feel less of a loser.
They are aware they do not have much to offer to a woman and therefore are not that competitive on the market. Dumping them drops their ‘authority’ status on the pyramid to the lowest level possible confirming a dreaded belief of theirs that they are indeed good for nothing.
To a human being, this is like the most terrifying feeling to have. It can make anyone suicidal, not just the ones at the bottom.
The only difference is that men higher up on the hierarchy have some cushion to land on (like “But, I am successful in my career”), unlike the losers who have nothing else going on in life to compensate for the blow.
No wonder these men take breakups so deeply.
“Will I ever find somebody like her? Someone who will accept me for me? Someone who won’t run away after discovering who I am (insert reasons of them being a loser)? “
Can you see how terrifying it is to them?
Some losers go years without a meaningful relationship and others bounce from woman to woman. Once the discovery phase has occurred, they get dumped like a hot rock.
There are a lot of dumped losers on the market… available for grabs.
It is up to you to identify them. It is in your best interests not to date or to be in a relationship with them. Needy losers will latch on to anything and anyone, so be super vigilant and super careful.
There is nothing flattering about being in a relationship with a needy loser “He needs me, he needs me!” So what? Do YOU need him?
P.S. If you feel like you need to talk to someone because your situation is too unique and most of the stuff you read on the internet is too generic and not helpful, then I would personally like to recommend you this affordable online counseling service. You will not be disappointed.
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