Why FWB does not always turn into a boyfriend - girlfriend relationship

Here is the true fact of life: not every FWB relationship turns into a boyfriend-girlfriend one. It may not be pleasant ladies, but it's still the truth.

Would you like to know why it happens? Perhaps, learning the truth will finally make you realize where you stand with your man, and especially WHY he does not want to upgrade you to a status of a girlfriend.

You see, every man knows that women are after boyfriend - girlfriend relationships, commitment, and marriage, which means it's very hard for him to find a woman who would 1) sleep with him and 2) demand none of that in return.

Every man knows also that an on-going relationship with a woman creates expectations and that at a certain point he will be forced to make a choice (‘it is a commitment or get lost’).

As you have probably guessed by now, men are not terribly fond of commitments and this is not what they are generally looking for. They are actually looking for the opposite, and that is why to them the non-committal FWB relationship is nothing but a WET DREAM COME TRUE

Therefore, once he is in this kind of a relationship, he will do all he can to preserve its original status. It means that he will be very careful to not say or do things that encourage a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. He will also be very careful to keep things the way they are and try very hard not to ruin its balance.

That is why he refuses to celebrate his birthday or is unwilling give you flowers on Valentine’s day - those are things that boyfriends-girlfriends do, and he does not want to go down that path. He does not want to give you the ‘wrong message’ and does not want to create expectations. Again, he wants to preserve the FWB relationship in its original state and stay away from any sort of deviations pointing into a boyfriend - girlfriend direction.

As long as you stay and not make any waves, you will be seen (by him) as a rare woman who he can enjoy his special time with. He understands that what he is having right now is one in a life time opportunity. Most of the women he knows would never agree to something like this.

He is also aware that the pool of women he could pick from is very small, therefore when it comes to having a woman for the FWB relationship he cannot even afford to be picky or selective. So, he stays with whomever says ‘yes’ to him (YOU?)

But (!) the minute you express your desire to become his girlfriend will be the minute when you become like the rest of the women he knows. And guess what, the rest of the women he knows would gladly become his girlfriend too!

In other words ladies, the minute your FWB status of a woman is gone, you become like every other woman who is looking for the same thing – a boyfriend - girlfriend relationship, commitment, and marriage. By expressing your desire to become his girlfriend you are inviting competition.

Now, should he want to go this route, he has a large pool of females to choose from. Why should he choose you?

If you are to compete with other females, you should be the one who stands out from the crowd and make sure he sees that. You cannot expect him to become your boyfriend automatically on the grounds that you are sleeping together.

You may not even know his selection criteria and what it is that he is looking for in a woman to become his girlfriend. If you think you are that woman, how come he has never asked you to become one? Did it occur to you also, that by sleeping with him and demanding nothing in return you have downgraded yourself to the point where he cannot see you as girlfriend material anymore?

And what is he doing on those dating websites? He is on dating sites searching for something that is currently missing in his personal life. Whatever it is, the truth is clear – he is not getting it from you.

This is an incredibly painful truth to learn about, but having your head stuck in a sand is not an option either. You see, if the above described pattern fits the description of your own FWB relationship, do not waste your time waiting, you will not become his girlfriend. Deep down he has no respect for you, and therefore had you removed from consideration. He thinks he has standards and sees you as the one who does not have any.

AND JUST FOR THE SAKE OF COMPARISON: FWB relationships that do turn into boyfriend-girlfriend ones will have most of the following – he will treat you special on your birthday and other big days, will keep communicating in between meetings, will share his emotions and feelings with you, your meetings will become longer and there will be other activities besides just sleeping together.

He will not get freaked out over activities that make you look like a couple, he will be sharing his daily life with you (bad or good), and may become possessive and jealous over where you are, what you are doing, and who you are with.

These are the signs that a man has feelings and respect for you. You have a high chance of becoming his girlfriend here, or maybe you are already HER without realizing it(?)