Relationship responsibility - Selfishness vs. Empathy
Rejections and dating go hand in hand, but along with the rapidly developing technology one disturbing trend has emerged – a lack of responsibility and decreased empathy towards the other individual.
The modern technology makes it so easy to meet someone new, and unfortunately, it makes it even easier to discard them from your life also. We live in a society where the ‘unacceptable’ has become the norm. Do you think you can relate to these scenarios?
‘I have been dating a man for 4 months, but after we took our first vacation together, he stopped responding to my calls and text messages’ – Helen, 32
‘We had such a great time! He kept saying how we were perfect together and how great it felt… until one day he just stopped calling. What happened?’ - Hillary, 28
The chart below reflects the modern trend of dating and the levels of one’s empathy vs. selfishness involved.
It is no surprise that those who resort to such tactics promote uncertainty and confusion in their ‘relationships’:
~ They do not want to be alone and yet they won’t commit fully to the person they are with.
~ They want to have someone to spend their free time with but will not welcome (and resent) expectations
~ They will not let the person and the relationship go, but will explore other prospects should such an opportunity arise
~ They do not need the person they are with, they are only after what a relationship with them represents.
In essence – rather than breaking up and leaving the other person alone, they choose to have their cake and eat it too! There is absolutely no regard to what the other party thinks or feels. The victimized party:
~ Is in a constant state of confusion and does not know what to believe
~ Experiences major trust issues
~ Is putting his/her entire dating life on hold hoping for the current ‘relationship’ to work
~ Tortured by self-doubts and self-questioning: ‘Did I do or say something wrong?’
~ Does not feel loved and appreciated
~ Suffers from anxiety and feels insecure most of the time
The ability to communicate virtually has definitely affected how people date and communicate these days, BUT it does not mean we have the right to treat someone poorly or with disrespect. It is not just about our selfish needs, there is another person on the receiving end!
Regardless of the decline of empathy in our society, I would still like to believe that each and every one of us is capable of ending their relationship in a proper and respectful manner. It should not take much of your time or energy to simply let the other person know the truth. A clean breakup is the best way to handle the end of each relationship (regardless of its length).