Will he ever propose?
Wouldn't it be great if the man of your dreams surprised you with a gorgeous ring and the delicious words 'will you marry me?'... like YESTERDAY?? You have been dating him for a while, you have been patient, you have been giving him hints, you were threatening to leave. And now you think that his refusal to propose means he does not love you...
Ladies, as long as you think like a woman you will keep feeling this way.
Nothing is wrong about being a woman and thinking like a woman, but what you should understand also is that men don't see marriages the way women do.
What does 'getting married' mean to you? These are just a few - a nice house, having children, perhaps becoming a stay-at-home mom, a long term loving relationship with your sweetheart, being taken care of, financial security, and stability.
For your beloved sweetheart the above characteristics are as important as well, except for one major thing - who willbe responsible for providing all this???
For men marriage is not a fairy tale, it is a big responsibility they are taking upon themselves. For a man, a reasonably responsible man, to get married is a HUGE step. It is a scary step!
ATTENTION LADIES, YOU MAY FIND THESE 2 BOOKS VERY HELPFUL IN GETTING HIM TO PROPOSE! (UK - click here!)
1) Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others: The Fascinating Research That Can Land You the Husband of Your Dreams
2) Closing the Deal: Two Married Guys Reveal the Dirty Truth to Getting Your Man to Commit
Now, back to your issue. To get him to propose you need to think like a smart fox. Assuming he is stable in his career, financially fit, and things are going well in his life, below are the most common problem areas that could STILL be standing between you and his proposal. Once you know what it is, you will know what to do!
~ Look at his past history with women. If his past is littered with multiple short term relationships, it should tell you something. Either he is not mature, or he is not capable of sustaining a long term relationship. On the other hand, his history with women may reveal that he had several long term relationships and none of them ended up with marriage.
This type of a man is called a 'stringer'. Stringers can be dangerous for you in a way that they waste your precious time. You need to be firm with a stringer. If he is not looking to get married (ask him!) you need to get out. You will not get a proposal from him.
~ Never married and over 35-40 years old. Certainly he was not living on an uninhabitable island and was not raised among a pack of wolves. By this age, he already had a handful of relationships... and NONE of them ended up with marriage. Do you really think none of the previous women ever raised this issue with him before? How did it end? You are lucky to see the outcome - HE IS STILL SINGLE.
OK, things happen, I get it... Perhaps it was just a bad luck or he could be just a passive man, perhaps he made a poor investment decision and ended up being broke, or maybe he has been suffering from illness? Could he be just a shy guy?
Here is the statistical fact: most men propose within 18-24 months of dating. If by this time your 35+ sweetie did nothing to raise the issue, you have to step forward and let him know what you want.
Men do not have a nesting instinct and can date FOREVER! It is your job to bring this 'talk' up (gently), and be firm in your decision to leave if he refuses to cooperate.
~ He was married before and has no in-tentions of re-marrying. You see, many men will not tell you 'I want to date you but I'll never marry you'. They do know that if they were to tell you this, you would leave. So, it is up to you to find out the truth.
~ Does he know you want to get married? Men are natural pleasers, if you keep it silent, he may assume you are content. Tell him what you want! You might be surprised! If however, you have been trying to make him to commit for quite a while and he would not budge, you have no choice but to leave. Sorry.
If his life is not together, the least thing he would want to do is to burden himself with another responsibility - marriage. If, however, his life is a mess, and he wants to get married, please be aware that you are tying up yourself with an irresponsible man. There is a big chance your marriage will turn into a mess as well.