When he says 'I miss you'
It is good to hear that someone is missing you, but is he REALLY missing you as he says? And let us admit ladies, you would not have an issue with him saying ‘I miss you’ if those words were not just words. It is the disconnect between what he says and does that makes you feel frustrated, angry, puzzled, confused, and perhaps hurt too!
No matter where he lives – in a different city or just around the block - his constantly saying ‘I miss you’ and doing absolutely nothing about it eventually starts looking more like ‘I do not want to be with you’. And you are right! You are not crazy and you are no imagining things, it is what it is – he does not want to be with you! Besides, you have no idea who else he is missing or even seeing too.
One minute he says ‘I miss you’, and goes about his daily routine the next. He has his own life, interests, and habits, and checking up on you by saying ‘I miss you’ is one of those habits. It has become a habit of his because of the place you have in his life - a casual stop by retreat to vent and to massage his own ego. He likes to be liked! And I am pretty sure you are doing all you can to come across as super interested, super attentive, and super excited. You think that, perhaps, he will finally realize how great you are and will make an effort to clear up his seems to be always busy schedule to set something up for the both of you. You have been waiting, you have been patient, and you have hope because… the last time when you were on the phone with him he said ‘I miss you’.
He chose to miss you by not being with you. How many ‘I miss you’-s do you need to hear to finally realize that those words mean nothing? If he was really meaning what he says he would DO SOMETHING TO BE WITH YOU! Thousands and millions of couples miss each other every day, and yet find a way to meet and spend time together, how come the man, who claims to miss you, has done nothing to make it happen??
HE IS STRINGING YOU ALONG, and pretty successfully I would say, because you keep acting and responding to his contacts like he means something to you. Actually, like he means a lot. And since he means a lot to you, you feel like you should probably put your dating life on hold, hoping that your current connection has a serious potential of becoming something more because… he ‘misses you’. He expects you to be there whenever he calls, he expects you to be available should he decide to meet once in a Blue Moon, and HE EXPECTS YOU TO MISS HIM TOO. Who in the world does he think he is?!?
Again, he does not miss you in the way you think. Do you miss your classmates you have not seen in ages? Oh Dear Lord, of course! But would you go out of your way to start seeing them on a regular basis?? I so highly doubt it! It is because you have your own life going on with tons of commitments and priorities much greater than catching up with those classmates.
So, yes, he is missing you... but as a classmate. He enjoys talking, he enjoys sharing, he likes listening to what you have got to say, but this is as far as he can go. He has a life separate from yours, and you are not a significant part of it.
With this being said, I suggest stop obsessing over his ‘I miss you’-s and start living your life. Go on dates, make plans with other people, and the next time he calls just casually throw back ‘I miss you too’.
When someone misses you as if you were just a classmate, theydeserve exactly the same status – the status of a classmate. Missing classmates does not and should not in any way effect your daily routine or your life in general. You can miss them all you want, but you have your life to live. Sure, you may make an effort to meet those classmates once in a Blue Moon, but this is as far as you can go, you have your life and much higher priorities to attend to.
He is no more than a classmate who calls occasionally to say ‘I miss you’, he is not your boyfriend, and so does not deserve any sort of adjustments or turning yourself into a pretzel to accommodate his occasional whims.
Being with you is not important to him, and therefore he should not be in your list of priorities either. As the saying goes: do not make them your priority if they treat you like an option.
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