When he is married... to his job
The minute you find out that he is married to his job, you will immediately need to realize 2 things: 1) you are his 'OTHER WOMAN' (to his job) 2) it will NEVER change.
Are you involved with a workaholic, are totally sick and tired of it, wondering what to do? After all, there are plenty of relationships out there with this kind of arrangement. "How do they manage to make it work?" - you wonder.
The only way to make this relationship work FOR YOU is to make HIM the OTHER MAN. Like in my statement above, the only way to come to terms with this unfortunate situation is to find and marry your own passion (career, hobby, education, your own business etc). Your newly found passion will consume 99.99% of your mental and physical energy, and your focus will be dramatically shifted (from HIM).
Workaholism is a serious problem, and it negatively affects relationships and marriages. And no, you are not alone pondering about leaving. Workaholism is something that is very hard to understand for a mentally balanced person. His working 24/7 makes no sense to you - how someone can be so insanely consumed with their work totally disregarding everything else??
At times you are even wondering - if his job is all he wants to give his full attention to, then why would he get involved with you? Even during those rare times, when he is with you, you still feel disconnected and lonely… bonding with someone who is mentally gone seems simply impossible.
I do not know how long it has been going on for you, but if it has been for a while, you have probably given up on him being available and have adjusted to being alone most of the time. Social gatherings (where you are supposed to show up with your significant other), family birthdays or parties – are the events when you feel loneliest the most. On one hand - you think that you could attend, but on the other - showing up alone would seem like putting your personal relationship issue on public display and letting everybody know how dysfunctional it is. Because of this, at times, you may even feel like you have to make a choice between two different, absolutely opposite, but still no-win options - uncomfortable socializing or staying home – both giving you the same sad feelings in the end - isolation and loneliness.
No need for you to even analyze this type of a man, you have NO CONTROL over him and his addiction. He has already found his own passion and it is not you. The situation is so bad that if he, for some odd reasons, were to end up in a wheelchair, he would still find something to be busy about, putting a great deal of a distance between you two.
So, ladies, with all this being said, you have only two options here:
1) Staying in a relationship by finding your own passion
Do not be afraid to leave an unhappy relationship. Your staying with this man is as if he is the only one holding the keys to your happiness. Why would you want to give him so much power? Is it because blaming him is easier than taking action yourself and try to change something?
If you do nothing then nothing will change. Look at the mirror and ask yourself a question - ‘do I want to live the rest of my life the way I do now?’, also - ‘if I change nothing today, will I have regrets 5, 10, or 20 years later?’
Because of the way things are, you can hardly even call your current relationship a ‘relationship’. Most of the time it is just a fantasy filled with expectations, hopes, and dreams. Since he has already found his passion – his job - he is already living his dream… and what about you? Are you living your dream? As you can see now, HE DOES NOT NEED to have YOU around to live his dream, which means that, perhaps, in order to live your own dream you do not need to have him around either.
Leaving this non-relationship will mean saying good bye to the fantasy relationship you are living in right now, to your unmet expectations, to your dreams that would never come true anyway, and to many days of waiting to start finally feeling like The One… to only end up feeling like ‘the other woman’ instead.
Haven't you already had enough?
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Article - Be done with your dead-end relationship! or IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH you may like my empowering eBook: When you are DESPERATE FOR HIS LOVE: how to leave your bad relationship without feeling like you are going against yourself