The call from your ex
Did you receive an unexpected call from your ex? He left you many months or even years ago and now he is calling? What does he want and what is he thinking??? I can imagine your confusion over this event, especially if it took you a long time to get over the relationship. You did all you could to move on with your life; you truly believed it was over... until today.
Stay calm, ladies. Even if he is not totally out of your system, please try to stay calm. I'll show you below what his calling means, proving just one more time what a wrong guy he is for you!
In 99% of cases, his calling means a selfish attempt to satisfy one of his selfish needs. He certainly does not think about your feelings, and please, do not even count on it for a moment.
There is also a very slim 1% chance of him having regrets about leaving you. I would still not recommend getting back together and below you will find a good
reason WHY. Let's review these 2 scenarios in a greater detail, SHALL we? So, here is why he called:
~ It did not work out with his current girlfriend. Either she kicked him out or he left on his own, the result is clear - his ego is wounded, he is alone and lonely, and is looking for some EASY company. You used to be together, and then he left, but now (in his head) he believes he can have you - all sweet and loving - once again. He knows your weaknesses and knows what buttons to push, and he will do just that. Right now he needs someone (anyone!) not to feel lonely... while looking for someone special at THE SAME TIME.
You do not want to be a spare airport to land on, do you? As soon as he finds someone special, he will take off again and disappear into thin air. Fool me once... fool me twice - remember that saying?
~ He has been lonely for a long time, searching for that 'perfect girlfriend', it did not work out with any of them, and now this humiliated loser is looking for someone to massage his bruised ego. He wants to use you as an ego boost , WHILE CONTINUING TO LOOK for that 'perfect girlfriend'.
What it tells you here is that you were not and never will be that 'perfect girlfriend', otherwise why would he leave in the first place?
~ Maybe in a past you did a very good job putting him on a pedestal (and it is about to change) and His Majesty had decided that it was time for an upgrade (by breaking up with you and finding a true, equal match). After dating around, he realized that the grass was not greener, and decided to come back hoping you would forgive and forget.
This dog with a tail between his legs cannot be trusted. He already thought of you as 'less', and you need a man who thinks of you as THE ONE. It is your turn now to kick him to the curb, and you will do just that!
~ He is a commitment phobic. After dating you for a while, he started sensing you wanted more. It got him scared, and he bailed out. Being apart from you calmed down his commitment-phobic anxieties and made him miss you. If you were to get back together he would eventually pull the disappearing act again. And then again, and again.
Commitment-phobics cannot commit to either staying or leaving. Involvement with such men guarantees multiple breakups, reunions, and a roller-coaster of emotions. I say, stay away, he will never marry you. Why would you want to marry someone who keeps constantly breaking up with you?!!
~ He is not looking for a relationship, but is in need of a casual hookup. He called several numbers from his black book (your number was there too!) to see if any of his previous women agreed to meet up for 'some casual fun'. This is especially true if you used to be in a friends with benefits arrangement.
Redirect him to a 'for pay' hot line number or offer to take a hike to the Red Lights district in the Netherlands and wish him good luck!!
You see, this man is so arrogant and delusional, he truly believes that the minute you hear his voice, you will drop everything and run into his arms! Really? Who does he think he is?!? He hurt you once already, and should you take him back despite the above listed reasons, I guarantee you another heartbreak. It is just inevitable!
And here is one major reason to not take him back: back then, when he decided to leave, it was OK with him to lose you forever. Once a man leaves a woman, he is pretty sure that she is not the one for him. In addition to this, given that in 8 cases out of 10 it is the woman who leaves a relationship, he is one of those rare men who is capable of leaving the woman. Just another negative tipping of the scale not in his favor.
And how about that remaining 1% we mentioned in the beginning?
Although, it is nice to know that someone has finally realized how great you are, but I would still have difficulty trusting their genuine intentions for one and only one big reason: back then it was OK with them to lose you for good. Besides, their bailing out of the relationship, rather than working on its issues, demonstrated how UNIMPORTANT it was for them. They left the unimportant relationship back then, and suddenly they think it is important now? Oh please, give me a break!
Do not get back together with a man who left you before, even if only once. He was not afraid to lose you back then, and is going to be even less afraid to lose you now. By taking him back you are reassuring him, that no matter what he does, how much he hurts you, or for how long he is going to be gone, you will ALWAYS be there to take him back. You know what it means? It means he is not afraid to lose you anymore! This contempt will breed disrespect, taking you for granted, and in the end you win nothing. Do not take him back. You deserve better. Period.