Post breakup: does he miss me?
Well, the curtains are closed and the relationship is over and from this point forward, we are expected to ‘forget and move on’.
Although it's a nice theory, this is not what usually happens. What happens is that in most cases we end up obsessing over the breakup and the person we were with.
~ Did he finally realize what he has done?
~ Will he be back?
~ Did he finally realize how much I meant to him?
~ If we were to get back together, would it be different this time?
~ Is he thinking about me?
~ DOES HE MISS ME?
You are not in a relationship anymore, but dwelling on all of those things makes it look like you are.
Perhaps he was not caring enough and was unable to give what you wanted, or perhaps he was abusive; no matter what it was that broke you off - you are looking for a final confirmation, proof, and validation that he
still cares and loves you. You want to believe he still misses you too.
Sure your ex jerk, ex Mr. Unavailable, ex cheater, ex con-artist, and ex commitment phobic still misses you.
~ He misses taking from you without the need of giving back
~ He does not like the idea of being alone or looking for someone else, so he misses the convenience of having you around on his terms
~ He was receiving free, non-committal sex from you and now he is missing it too
~ He misses his regular sessions of an ego massage
~ He misses the opportunity of having his cake and eat it too
~ He misses your looking up to him and putting his sorry *ss on a pedestal
~ He misses you because you were the only one who saw good in him
~ He misses his convenient mid-night calls and your waiting on him to meet no matter the time of the day
Yes, he misses you, but would you like to be missed like THAT??
He is gone because he did not care and love you enough to stay. He is gone because he wants to be gone.
Regardless of who broke up with whom, his missing you for all the wrong reasons will not change the fact that he is gone. The relationship is over, and even if he still misses you, what do you expect him to do now??
Do you want him to start sending ‘I miss you’ texts and flood you with calls about how much he cares and how much sorry he is? Are you looking for confirmation that you are impossible to forget and non-replaceable? Are you looking for reassurance that he has difficulty moving on?
If you make an attempt to pursue his validation you will end up feeling rejected. Why? Because if he was unable to give love and care IN a relationship, then he will be even less inclined to do so when it’s over.
We do not chase after misery hoping it will turn into something great. Misery is misery; and if you come asking for more, all you will get is more misery. You will be hurt and humiliated all over again.
I know you want to be loved and cared for, you have the need to feel special and to be treated like ‘The One’. Unfortunately, you cannot look for all of these things from him. He is the wrong source. He was the wrong man for you back then, and he is still the same wrong man for you now.
His silent absence does not mean he forgot you. It also does not mean he does not care or he isn’t missing you. Creating distance between you two is his way of dealing with the end of a relationship. He is certainly not looking for a validation from you, is he?? In his mind it is over, which means any thoughts or feelings he is currently experiencing are meaningless and useless. They do not matter anymore! It is OVER!
It should be over for you too.
Actually, I have great news for you. Since you are so vulnerable and weak right now, maybe it is a good thing that he is not ‘testing the waters’ and pestering you with ‘I miss you’ calls? Maybe it is a good thing that he is giving you space and an opportunity to heal? You may not like that he is gone, but this is for your OWN GOOD. You need to heal and you cannot do so with him being around. You are too weak to resist his advances and therefore – you do not need his ‘I miss you’-s right now.
You do not want to relapse and then feel sorry about it later. You do not want to sabotage your healing process, otherwise it will have to start all over again! Therefore, you should not be concerning yourself with what he feels (or thinks, or does, or whatever), you better shift your mental energy onto yourself instead and focus on your own life.
Why would you even care if someone who failed to make it work misses you? You do not need his ‘I miss you’!! P.S. One year from now you won’t even give a slightest d*mn what he feels, thinks, or does.