Is it possible to hate someone you used to love?
Let me reassure you that you are NOT imagining things and you are not crazy because yes, it is very possible to hate someone you used to love.
Have you heard of the saying ‘Love and hate stand together’ before? They do stand together but how far apart from each other? What should happen for them to get switched and what should be the cause?
If it ever happened to you then you know already that love can easily turn into hate, and the more you loved them the greater the hate is.
Love turns into hate when it gets neglected and forgotten, when it runs out of batteries and no charger is left to replenish it back.
Love turns into hate or simply dies:
~ When you open your heart hoping they will do the same, but instead all you get is their dirty feet stumping onto it. Your heart hurts, your soul feels conflicted, and the growing pain becomes strong enough to overwrite initial miracles and hopes you believed in when you first met.
~ When you keep forgiving the unforgivable and tolerating the into-lerable ; you keep doing it for so long that after a while it becomes hard to distinguish between the ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, what is ‘normal’ and what isn’t.
~ When they cheat on you. That look in their eyes that says they no longer feel connected to you and that feeling in your gut that it gives you… This is when you know that it’s over. The eyes you used to love to look at are not the same eyes anymore; their words sound fake, the touching seems cold and the kissing feels gross.
~ When you sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of their own. You think if they feel happy with you they will grow to LOVE you... but it never happens because they never will.
~ When you feel like you are thousands of miles away from each other, even though you are in the same room; when your countless attempts to ‘bring you closer’ keep vanishing into the infinity of the Universe.
~ When you wait to hear for the ‘I love you’ long enough to understand that it will never happen. As the years keep passing by and you are getting older, so does the sinking feeling in your gut gets deeper and more troubling; you start realizing that you are redeemable and replaceable and the ‘I love you’ (and other words of commitment) is the privilege you are not entitled to (never have been and never will be).
~ When you keep endlessly questioning the status of your relationship and wondering whether you are in it or not. One day they ‘seem’ to love you and the other – not so much. Where is the truth and why is it so hard to see it? Are they hiding it, or are you just too blind?
~ When among all of your friends, family members, co-workers, and numerous acquaintances, he seems to be the only one individual in your life who is so unloving, so hurtful, and so mean towards you. You have not done anything wrong to this person, besides just loving him. Is your loving him makes him mad? Is this mean attitude of his some sort of punishment?
~ When you keep breaking up - making up with them non-stop. You know your yo-yo relationship is in crisis - you know what you want and you know you are not getting it. You feel mad, they feel mad... You are standing on the edge of the cliff and just about to jump. Will they get scared enough to grab your hand in an attempt to try again or will they let you go this time completely?
As the saying goes - ‘Nothing lasts forever’ - and therefore there will be the day in your life when you suddenly realize that the pain of being WITH them is much greater than the pain of be-ing WITHOUT them. It will be the beginning of the end and the sign that your heart is ready to move on.
It is also going to be a sign that your newly found self-love is about to emerge and is about to make its own statement. The greater your newly found self-love will be and the worse you were treated the more you will hate them afterwards. Your eyes will finally open and see the painful truth, and the uglier truth they will see, the stronger feelings of your hatred will be.
And you know what? You have the right to feel what you feel! There is no need to agonize over the ‘rightness’ or the
‘wrongness’ of those feelings. There is no need to suppress them and no need to feel guilty. You feel what you feel!
As your life journey continues, the feeling of hatred may subside, but because of all the damage that was done, you may never stop hating them completely. And it’s OK. Since the love and hate stand together, the hatred (not just love) can last for a long period of time.
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