Is he still calling you?
‘After discovering that I was just a side piece, I broke it all off and asked him to never contact me again… It has been 4 months since we saw each other and he still keeps calling. What is going on? Why is he calling me?'
‘After a long 5 years, I got finally sick and tired of being his p*ssy on demand woman… What made me stay so long? Well, as those years kept passing by I kept thinking that maybe he would grow attached and we would become a couple one day. Unfortunately, it never happened. Long story short, I have been NC for almost 7 months(!) now and guess who contacted me yesterday? Of course I did not respond!’
Has this ever happened to you too? Did it shake you emotionally?
You see, when we break up with someone who gave us way too much pain and discomfort, the last thing we want is more pain… from them. And, if you tell them ’No’, there won’t be more pain.
When they contact you after a breakup it means they are testing the waters to see if they still have a chance (to crew you). These men are delusional because they live in the past and remember what you were like with them when you were together. They got so accustomed to having their ways with you and you behaving in a certain manner that your ‘no’ does not make sense to them. They will especially be inclined to ignore it if you were a ‘yes’ person and had no courage, self-love, and self-esteem to stand up for yourself.
Your first ‘No’ may catch them off guard, and since they are not aware of how much you have changed, they may chuckle it all up to you being ‘pissed off’ or ‘having a bad day’. Does it sound familiar? You tell them ‘No’ and they are like ‘Oh, I see, you are in a b*itchy mood today, OK, maybe later’. They are certainly in denial or simply put – downplay the significance of what you feel and say. They sooo got used to being ‘the boss’ in the relationship, aka ‘the stronger party’, and they still think they are ‘the boss’… after the breakup (!!)
I understand that being contacted by your ex while you are doing all you can to heal, forget, and move on, may feel unsettling. In a moment of weakness you may even debate whether you should reverse all the progress you have made and give them a chance #20. Or #100. ‘After all - you think - they still remember me’.
Sure they do, just like the rest of their exes. They did not contact you for YOU; they do this to all of their exes. If they were in a happy and fulfilling relationship with someone else, they wouldn’t even think twice diving into their past and go fishing. I say, stick with your progress and do not take that sneaky bait!
Examples of baits:
~ they may send a pic of you and them together
~ they may offer to become friends
~ they may send a pic of themselves hoping you will break down and say ‘yes’
~ they may send you a ‘happy birthday’ text months and months later after the breakup. This one may especially affect you.
These men require multiple rejections until it finally sinks into their tiny brains. Since you do not have much of a history of saying ‘no’ to them, they won’t believe you when they hear it. They simply won’t take it seriously! They will be like: ‘I know she still wants me’ or ‘She cannot possibly be like that’ or ‘We have been through this already before’ or’ She is just acting out’. They will especially be persistent if you were in an on- and off- relationship. The amount of ‘No’-s you will have to say here will have to out-number any previous amounts of ‘No’ you said to them in a past. By the way, blocking them from your social media account, their phone number (or changing your own), and their email has proven to be a super helpful technique.
These men have no clue how much you have changed. Their calling may look ridiculous to you, but this is why it is happening – they think you are still the same! Since it took time for you to change, it will take time for them to realize that YOU ARE NOT GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH THEM.
You know yourself better now. You know what you will and will not tolerate (thanks to their disgusting ways), and you know what you won’t put up with. You have to really stick to your guns because if you don’t, there will be a breakup # 2, (and #3) guaranteed. They nibble around like a dog looking for a free snack. Your breaking down and giving in will register in their brain, and from that point forward they will keep coming back for more. They will keep coming back as long as they think there is a chance (to screw you more). As I have mentioned previously, they do not do this for You, it is about them. Also, they always have this harem of other vulnerable women to nibble on to get some. Do not be THAT woman.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Article - When he thinks you are his property or if you want to feel good about your current breakup instead of miserable you will love my empowering e-Book When you are DESPERATE FOR HIS LOVE how to leave your bad relationship without feeling like you are going against yourself