Is he giving you mixed signals?
He loves me… he loves me not, he loves me… he loves me not… If you feel like you are going crazy by trying to figure out what he thinks, then let me reassure you – you are not crazy and you are not alone.
When we become a victim of mixed signals the idea of figuring of what is in their head becomes INCREDIBLY enticing. We obsess over each word they say and each move they make, sometimes we may even think we ‘sort of’ know why they are saying what they are saying and doing what they are doing. Yes, ladies, here comes the excuses part! We give them excuses too!
~ maybe he needs more time
~ maybe he is shy
~ maybe... maybe… maybe
And what happens to those of us who after weeks and months of exposure to such a mindless charade become fed up and leave? That’s right! They pop back into your life, quite often out of the blue, making it look like they are interested. Are they??
Let us just pause for a moment and try to figure out what the hell is going on here, shall we?
First of all, let us agree on this one single point: the kind of a relationship he has been bestowing upon you is NOT making you happy. All the excuses in the world will not change this one single fact.
Regardless of this obvious fact you are still in the relationship because you want to believe that his mixed signals mean something.
Yes, his mixed signals – all of them – do mean something, but unfortunately, none of them mean what you would like them to mean (if you know what I mean).
The major mistake you could be doing right now is projecting your own feelings onto him. He is a different person and he may not feel what you feel, he may not think what you think, and he may not see what you see. His mixed signals are solid proof of it – you are totally on different pages. Can you see it now too?
If you were on the same page, you would not be sitting here wondering whether he is interested or not and what he is thinking. When a man is into you, it is crystal clear how much he is interested and what he is thinking.
Here are more questions to answer:
~ how come it has been a while and you are still not sure whether he is interested or not?
~ how come this ‘relationship’ has never progressed to anything more meaningful? He knows you are interested, right? If so, what stops him from getting to know you better?
~ how come he is putting distance between you two? A helpful hint: his creating distance between you two means you are not The One.
~ how come you are still second guessing his every move and every motive?
Again, if you were equally interested in each other (aka on the same page) you would feel comfortable asking these questions. In healthy relationships people feel comfortable discussing what bothers them. Do YOU feel comfortable talking to him on such a level?
You do know that a relationship with this man is not healthy, you do know you are not getting what you need, and the saddest part is that deep down you also know that even if you were to ask he would probably fail to deliver. Is that right?
Have you ever asked him for more? What did he say?
At this point I would like to suggest something interesting. Would you like to know what his mixed signals REALLY mean? Would you like him to stop playing his twisted games? Would you like to see what he is REALLY up to?
In order to find out the truth I suggest the following (I know you can pull it off!)
~ you have to totally back off and give him space. When we give someone space they either miss us or forget about us.
~ stop initiating and let him take the lead. His actions will show what he thinks.
~ IGNORE what he says and pay attention only to what he does. This one single thing only should add a lot of clarity to how he really feels about you. Is it simple? Yes!
~ he may be the kind of a guy who is not realizing he is giving away mixed signals. Are you ‘like-warm’ with him too? It could be making him feel insecure, and therefore resulting in mixed signals on his part. Let him know in plain English that you are INTERESTED AND WOULD LIKE TO HAVE MORE. See what he says and then what he does about it.
In the end of the day, if you think about it, you have absolutely nothing to lose. By sticking with the above plan you will either get yourself a boyfriend or realize you are in a dead-end relationship. There will be no more second guessing, no more wondering what he feels or thinks, and no more waiting on him to 'love you' one day. The Universe has an answer for you! All you need to do is to work up the courage to get it!
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Articles - Relationship responsibility Selfishness vs. Empathy, 20 Signs he is not serious or my empowering eBook When you are DESPERATE FOR HIS LOVE how to leave your bad relationship without feeling like you are going against yourself