If you have been ghosted

If you have been ghosted

If EVERYTHING was great and felt great, then why would they suddenly disappear? Why would someone abandon something that seemed so good and wonderful? It does not make any logical sense!

Sure it does not make any sense. This is because there was no logic involved. Their disappearing act was NOT based on

if you have been ghosted

rational thinking and logic, it was based on feelings. And when someone makes emotional decisions they usually act irrationally and in a manner that is hard to explain.

Their ghosting on you makes no sense because they failed to communicate NEGATIVE feelings they were having all along. All it means is that you were dating a crying, sad clown with a mask of a smiling happy face. You thought everything was great because you were looking at the mask but did not see the real them behind it.

Now, do not blame yourself for failing to see them for who they were. It was not your job to play guessing games or to try to figure out ‘what they were thinking’. And, even if you were to ask them directly – you still wouldn't get the answers. They wouldn't tell you anything because they were afraid.

With this being said, let’s talk about dating men who are AFRAID.

There is one distinctive feature of this type of a man – whether you are dating or in a relationship – you will NEVER hear him saying anything negative. When

you are with this type of a man everything seems perfect: he seems to happy to see you, he seems to agree with everything you say, he seems to have the same interests and the same opinions as you do, and it seems like you are a perfect match. He also seems to be fine with places you go out and is OK with everything you suggest. Of course it seems and feels perfect… to you. But have you noticed how many ‘seems’ were used to describe this man and the relationship? It is because it's not perfect, it only seems to be perfect!

Let us pull away the mystery curtain and see what is actually happening here. You see, when we date someone who is afraid, these two absolutely opposite dynamics usually take place: to you it is the growing feelings of joy, satisfaction, and contentment with the relationship, but to them – it is the growing fears, anxieties, and dissatisfaction. Perhaps you said something to trigger their insecurities, perhaps you did something to evoke their fears, or perhaps it was something that had nothing to do with you... Whatever you did or did not do 'to their liking' there was no way for you to know. They would not share and they would not bother to share their insecurities. They were afraid and they did not want you to know.


If you think about it, relationships don’t stop for no reason. Regardless of the reasons for a breakup, both people normally tend to fight, quarrel, break up and make up, speak up, and say hurtful things to each other. After a breakup finally happens, both parties at least know what happened and the reasons for the breakup. But what happens to the relationships with men who are afraid? That’s right! You never know the reasons for the breakup!

You will never know because up to the very last minute they were trying very hard to pretend like everything was OK. They were living in their full of emotional conflict head and never bothered to let you in. They did not feel like you were worthy of visiting that intimate place of theirs because they did not want you to see the real, true them. That’s because they were so insecure that they would rather wear a mask than telling you what's wrong. They kept saying ‘everything is great’ up to the very last minute only to ghost on you the next. They KNEW it was not going to work, but in their insensitive and selfish mind, they thought you did not deserve to know.

They did not want confrontation, they did not want to be responsible for what they did (they built expectations, didn’t they?), they did not want to answer any of your questions because doing so would mean taking off the mask and becoming REAL WITH YOU. In case you have not figured it out by now – they were fake with you from the start, and their ghosting on you is the solid proof. This is your clue to knowing that you dated a clown with a fake smiley face, fake words, and fake emotions. It was a fake relationship!

If you feel like they emotionally betrayed you then you are right – they have a problem and you became a victim of that problem. The good news is that they are gone.

You do not need them, they made a choice NOT to be real with you.

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