Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself!
When you get mistreated by a man who you either do not know that well or do not care about, it is easy to put him on the spot, to say it as it is, to turn around and walk away. After all - you think - what did I have to lose? It would be a different story if you were in love with the man. Somehow, deep down, you have this disturbing believe that if you were to speak up he would
be the one who turned around and walked away. So, in order to keep him and the dating relationship going you feel like you have no choice but sweeping it under the rug... pretending to be happy.
Meanwhile, the man you are with, has NO IDEA of what is going on, what you are upset about, and what is happening. And since you made him believe that you are happy and everything is great he has no incentive to improve or change things. In the end, you are the one who loses the battle.
Let us admit, ladies, that this is the wrong way to handle difficulties in relationships. Sweeping it under the rug may work for a while, but eventually it all will blow up into your face. The sad part of this it that your man, who up to this point believed everything was great, will be on the receiving end.
You may do a good job hiding your emotions, but once everything is in the open, he will feel 'lost' and 'surprised'? Can you blame him for feeling like this? It is like blaming a blind person for not checking street lights before crossing a street. He had NO IDEA!
When he is doing something wrong he deserves to know. Men are not as refined and sensitive as women are and sometimes, when they step on your toes, they are not aware of it. Perhaps it was totally unintentional? Unless he is a psychopath or sadist, he did not start a relationship with you to intentionally cause you harm. To think that HE would think 'I would like to be in a relationship with a woman who I could hurt as much as I can' sounds insane, and it IS insane! Meanwhile, hiding your hurt feelings makes it look like he is in it to hurt you. See what I mean?
So, ladies, yes, he deserves to know the truth - the truth about your feelings when he does something wrong. Given that you are feeling scared and insecure, how do you bring it up in the first place??
RELATED READING - BOOK: (UK - click here) Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict
I would like to suggest one VERY EASY method and I promise you can pull it off with no problem. The method boils down to two easy steps:
Step 1. The minute he did something wrong imagine some other man, you are not that interested in, did the exact same thing to you or one of your girlfriends.
Step 2. What would you say to that other man? Whatever you've got to say, this is what your current man has to hear.
See, when you are not emotionally involved with a man, your brain is capable of thinking rationally, and therefore you say and do things that make sense. When you feel emotional about someone, your brain is hijacked by fears and irrational thoughts, and therefore you tend to do stupid things you would have never done in the first place!
Stepping aside and taking a clear, cold-headed look at the situation is a very healthy way to address relationship issues.
Do not be scared of telling him the truth. First of all, he will appreciate it, and second - it will rise his respect for you; mature men like women who stand up for
themselves. But if, for whatever weird reason, he decides to leave - it should be a signal that he is a very weak, unmanly man. Strong, mature men embrace difficulties and challenges, and the weak ones... retreat back into their dens. These men are like immature babies - handling the negative truth is too much for them.
Do not get upset over losing a man who is unable to handle the negative truth on a mature level. How in the world is he supposed to handle other difficulties in life? Just imagine, by speaking up you may actually discover who he really is. He is either a mature man you can rely on, or is a baby man... and it is up to you to find out.
RELATED READING: Article - Stop being taken for granted! or my empowering eBook - When you are DESPERATE FOR HIS LOVE: how to leave your bad relationship without feeling like you are going against yourself